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2.2 Niche Picking
I drew occasionally at a young age, but around six, my aunt showed me her artworks and they were realistic and beautiful. I was mesmerized and actively felt this was something I could be good at. I chose to practice and seek out materials to use with in my works. My aunts on both side are artists and so that might have been in the genes for me to naturally have some skills from within as well putting in time to improve my talent. -
7.1 Transition to Middle School
My experience differ from the textbook because I had a delay in puberty so as everyone became self conscious of their body image, I had different set of problems. I had body dysphoria and freaked out about that. Also, I came from a small school that did not have "top dog phenomenon". We had some popular eighth graders, but I happened to become a fast favorite of underdog grade. Everyone rooted for me to beat eighth graders in sports, academia, etc. -
1.1 Entering Adolescence
Around thirteen, as matched with other average children becoming adolescents in the textbook, I started to think in an abstract way, questioning more things than before about my gender and sexuality. At this age, I had the desire to spend more time with my friends so I stayed at dorm after school in order to stay away from home. Although, the ways I think and function were akin to most adolescents around thirteen, my biological changes were not same, delayed for a while longer. -
4.1 Gender Intensification
Gender intensification influenced by psychological and behavioral differences that is amplified during adolescence is caused by various of things like socialization pressure of parents, peers, and friends based on their gender and how they should act according to the gender they are. I didn't have this experience because I am trans, but I did have a sense of pressure to fit in with boys, to be masculine as a stereotypical boy should be because of external influences on me. -
6.1 Parent-Adolescent Conflict
I really don't want to talk about my family so I'm doing The Incredibles. Violet is interested in a boy, in her middle adolescence period and would want to go out, but her father is overcontrolling and has high expectations. This caused a clash between those two, because Violet wanted boundaries and her father would snoop, crossing the space for privacy. His parenting style is authoritarian, which is not the best as it easily can cause conflict often and the teenagers would rebel. -
6.3 Ego Support
I was sort of rivals with Keaura at first before we became immediate friends. She was the only one that was as smart as me which challenged me. I liked the challenge and stimulation, and as we became closer, we confided in each other more. We always ensured we both were okay. She assured me of my self-worth. I was very bad (sort of still is) at seeing my worth- Lifetime of trauma does that to you- but she was there and provided comfort. -
7.3 Intrinsic Motivation
Art is something I am very motivated to improve due to my appreciation for vivid images, creations that could grow. This eager to paint far more advanced pieces came from my self determination to improve, to be like my aunts who are highly talented artists. I became more serious about art in 2014, because I saw the possibility of my improvement, and I chose to dive in it. When I saw it as something I am good at and simultaneously challenging, it pushed me to flow. -
3.1 Social Cognition
At fourteen, I told the story of me being ran over under a SUV at ten, which is a story unheard of to many, which makes me feel I was unique in this experience. I had "adolescent egocentrism" thinking that they were interested in my stories much more than their own. My personal fable made me think abstract about what happened, increased my metacognition of how I thought about the incident. It's a good example because it showed how I thought I was unique and invulnerable to harm. -
3.2 Social Comparison
I am shorter than everyone on the basketball team and that makes me more self-conscious about my height. I also play on boys basketball team, which contradict with my true self as someone who is not a boy. My self-esteem was awful and I kept perceiving myself as an awful false version, because I compared with other players who were faster and more confident in their gender, meanwhile I was far off in darkness, feeling lost and absent in mine. -
8.1 Rite of Passage
In Western, there are much less rite of passages compared to eastern countries, however there are several traditions in some families of their own creation. My family had this tradition where we opened one present the day before Christmas and opened another present that was always the pajamas we were to use the same night. This had been a tradition that led to the celebration of Christmas morning in our pajamas that were nice for pictures. -
6.2 Companionship
I had a friend who I liked a lot because we spent time together. He is autistic and mostly non-verbal limited to several words, and he is the sweetest person I know. I would defend him to the end of the world. I liked him because we lived together in dorm, and he found an interest in me so he would spend time next to me for our study hours. As more as he hung around me, I liked him and started to chat with him more. I invited him to play and do stuff with me frequently. -
2.1 Maturational Timing
I am a late bloomer, because I had some problems with my thyroid gland and the interaction with pituitary gland which made me shorter than all my peers when most of them first went through puberty and grew some more at a faster rate. The maturation of my sexual primary characteristics came very late and it was a little hard for me, not only because I had a delay in my maturation, but because I didn't feel aligned to my sex. This contributed to a lot of my confusion and body dysphoria. -
7.2 Transition to College
My experience was much alike to the textbook in several ways. This time around, I experienced the top dog phenomenon. I knew some people, but I was far more overwhelmed by more of strangers. This helped me experience life in a new environment, granting me to do anything I wish. I slowly understood I could be me through more of people like me in college that I didn't see in my early years. I developed more meaningful relationships with people that share my identities. -
1.2 Emerging Adulthood
I felt I emerged into early adulthood when I had more responsibilities, and a job as I started university. I was also away from home, which meant I was more independent and on my own to do things as an adult. I had this sense where I felt anything was possible, as other emerging adults felt, mentioned in the textbook. -
3.3 Self Protection
When a friend asked for clarification on my sexuality, he said you're straight, right? That "right" fucked with me and I said of course. Of course?? I did this to protect myself, especially because I had low self-esteem about my sexuality. I hated myself, and the constant self criticism I had merged with my depression, amplifying each other in spirals. I thought I was protecting myself, but really what I was doing is harming my true identity, attempting to be someone else I was not.