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The Day I Was Born
I was born at the young age of 0 in one of Hong Kong's many residential districts, specifically in the Quarry Bay area. I was born into an Asian culture with Chinese parents that had immigrated here from Fujian. I have a brother called Max who was one year older than me, who would become one of my best friends for life. -
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A Timeline of My Life
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Stage 1, Basic Trust vs. Mistrust
Erikson's first stage of development. 0-1. I develop trust in caregivers or distrust towards them depending on how they treat me.
Since I was only 1 year old, I cannot remember anything that happens during my 1-4 years due to infantile amnesia. So, most of the information here would be from my family members. -
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Jean Piaget's Theory of Cognitive Development, Sensorimotor Stage
0-2. When I start exploring the world by interacting with it. Learning how to move and developing cognitive abilities like object permanence. The ability to know that an object still exists even though it is out of sight. -
Stage 1, Basic Trust vs. Mistrust Part 1
My family meets every one of my needs as a baby and kept me alive. Providing me with food, shelter, and comfort. Because of this, I develop trust towards them and the basic strength of hope in this stage is strengthened. -
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Stage 2, Autonomy vs. Shame/Doubt
Erikson's second stage of development. 1-3. I gained the ability to have some choices in my life like what I would eat during dinner. -
Stage 2, Autonomy vs. Shame/Doubt 1
Since Asian culture's parenting style typically has more control over their child compared to other cultures, I did not have a lot of choices so self-doubt begins to develop which leads to the current me always second-guessing myself. Because of this, the basic strength of will is hurt. -
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Stage 3, Initiative vs. Guilt
Erikson's third stage of development. 3-5. Children begin to develop interests in activities. -
Chinese Education System to American
In Asia, some people think that "the white man's education is the best mans". My parents enrolled me into an international school called QSI in futain. This decision introduced me to western culture and in turn made me less connected with my Chinese heritage. -
Stage 3, Initiative vs. Guilt 1
My parents did not punish me for being interested in my choices of activities. So, I developed a sense of purpose and the ability to imagine my future. -
Kohlberg's Morality (Pre-Conventional)
Stage 1 of Kohlberg's morality theory. In this stage, children make decisions that benefit themselves, looking to avoid punishments and to gain rewards from their choices. In this stage, if I was presented with a moral dilemma about the sick family member and the drug dealer, I would not steal the medicine since I am avoiding the punishment of jail time. -
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Stage 4, Industry vs. Inferiority
Erikson's fourth stage of development. 6-11. Cognitive abilities are developed which allows me to complete tasks such as schoolwork. -
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Jean Piaget's Theory of Cognitive Development, Preoperational Stage
6-7. Slowly begins to develop but still cannot do mental operations. The biggest idea in this stage is egocentrism when the child could only see the world from their perspectives. They cannot put themselves in other people's shoes and mainly only care about themselves. -
Pretend Play
Pretend play is when a child believes that toys and nonliving objects have feelings. Oftentimes, they would have a stuffed animal that they call a friend and play with daily. In my case, it was an IKEA brown ferret stuffed animal that I called Jack. -
Piano Class
Parents enrolled me into piano class which I still take to this day. With my developed cognitive abilities from Erikson's 4th stage, I am able to start learning how to play the piano. -
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Jean Piaget's Theory of Cognitive Development, Concrete Operational Stage
7-12. In this stage, children begin to develop logical thinking and understand complex relationships between things. They would also have the cognitive ability of conservation. The change in a form does not necessarily mean quantity too. In this stage, my math skills and others improves due to the development of logical thinking. -
Kohlberg's Morality (Conventional)
In this stage, children will make decisions on how society will view them. They will follow conventional standards on what's acceptable and what's not. Their choices will also be influenced by their family and peers. If I was in this stage and was presented with the drug and sick spouse dilemma, I wouldn't steal the medicine since stealing is wrong and I will be viewed negatively by society. -
Stage 4, Industry vs. Inferiority 1
My parents and teachers both support my efforts in learning in school and playing outside of school. Develop feelings of competence and uses my skills and intellect to solve daily problems. -
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Stage 5 Identity vs. Role Confusion
Erikson's fifth stage of development. 12-18. The child starts to develop their own identity and starts to discover it. If they know who they are, they will develop confidence. They will also start thinking about the sincerity and genuineness of the relationships with his friends and peers. -
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Jean Piaget's Theory of Cognitive Development, Formal Operational Stage
12+. In this stage, our reasoning abilities expand and we gain the ability to have abstract thoughts. We can also create imagined situations and realities, have systematic reasoning and use symbols. -
Kohlberg's Morality (Post-Conventional)
Third and final stage when the reasoning behind decisions transcend society's rules and have the knowledge that rules can be ignored or changed depending on the situation. Self-defined ethical principles and an individual's sense of morality play a big role in it. If I was presented with the drug situation in this stage, I would steal the medicine since human life is worth more than 2000$ and you cannot put a tag onto human life. -
Future Confusion
When entering or during high school, people are supposed to know what they are going to do in the future, or at least a general direction. But in my case, I still have no idea where I am going to go in the future or what I am supposed to do. My role confusion is causing a lot of stress when thinking about the future so I tend not to do it. Which in turn, causes greater stress since I still have no idea about my future. Currently in moratorium, trying to decide on a major but cannot. -
Imagined Realities and Situations
When I am bored in class or somewhere else, I would often think about impossible situations happening to me. For example, pretending that I am in the army fighting against bad guys. Or thinking about what if situations like what if he suddenly starts a fight with me. -
Parent Relationship
During late middle school and high school, my relationship with my parents drastically changed. When I was still young, I would interact with my parents daily but as I grew older, the relationship started to drift apart. Currently, I rarely say anything to them and the only time that we see each other for a long duration is during dinner/lunch. -
Stage 5 Identity vs. Role Confusion 1
Although I have started to explore my personal identity, I still have no idea who I am or what I am going to become in the future. All I know are the basic stuff and nothing more like how I will go to either college or university after graduating high school. I am currently in role confusion, with no sense of identity of who I am or will going to be. -
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Stage 6, Intimacy vs. Isolation
Erikson's sixth stage of development. 18-35. Beings to form intimate relationships and undertake work. -
Stage 6, Intimacy vs. Isolation 1
Graduated high school and went to seek higher education. Am currently undertaking a side job in order to pay for tuition and living fees while not really focusing on finding a girlfriend. Socially isolated because of the dedication to the school and no time due to jobs. -
Getting a Cat
Ever since I was little I had always wanted a cat but my parents would not allow me to get one. And since I had moved out of my parent's house and into my own, I can finally get one. Having this cat will not make me that much socially isolated since I will always have a companion. -
University/Collage Major and Job
I would probably just get a 4-year degree in something like accounting or something. With the degree, I'll get a normal desk job because you don't need to communicate with a lot of people and all of the time you spend your time indoors in a cubicle. I would hate the job but put up with it to get enough money to survive. -
Relationship
There is this girl at work that I really like. However, I hardly get to talk to her or maintain a longer conversation than a minute due to me being bad at communicating. My coworkers kept pushing me to ask her out but I never did. Until one day I finally mustered up the courage and was swiftly rejected. At this moment, I knew that I was going to be alone for my entire life. -
Falling Out With Family
According to the social clock, I am supposed to be in a relationship or already married at this point. Because of this society's beliefs and expectations, my parents and family kept asking me constantly about if I was trying to find someone or not. After sending back responses for years and years, I finally had enough and started to ignore them. -
Stage 7, Generativity vs. Stagnation 1
Because of my desk job and my nonexistent connection with society, I feel stagnation and that I am not doing anything for the world. This leads to me feeling a lack of motivation to do work and to accomplish things. -
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Stage 7, Generativity vs. Stagnation
Erikson's seventh stage of development. 35- 55. In this stage, people who feel like their existence is positively impacting society and helping the next generation will feel generativity. People who do not feel like they are contributing anything to society will feel stagnation. -
Animal Funereal
My one and only companion in my life have recently passed away due to old age. The cat was the only thing good about this life and now he's gone forever. I decided not to get a new pet since their passing would just make me even sadder. This leads to me living and being alone and isolated. -
Crisis at Work
Massive layoffs have happened in the company ever since artificial intelligence has replaced all if not most of our jobs. I am now job-seeking but it is hard for me to adapt and fulfill the requirements needed by the rapidly advancing society. And everyone company wants workers who are young and energetic, not old bums like me. -
Stage 8, Integrity vs. Despair 1
When I hit my 55th birthday with nobody to celebrate it with at a 1 room apartment in the worst place in the town, I started to reflect on my life. I had done nothing meaningful with it, I had accomplished nothing and had wanted everything. Despairs fill in my head as I desperately try to find something meaningful that I had done, but couldn't find any. All I have now is regret, sadness, and a lack of meaning in life. -
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Stage 8, Integrity vs. Despair
Erikson's eighth and final stage of development. 55+. Begins evaluation of one's own life to see if they had lived well enough or not. -
Midlife Crisis
Massive amounts of regret, anxiety, and guilt flood into me. I had done nothing with my life for the past 50 years. The only good thing I had done (adopting my cat) has been long gone. My job is gone too and there is nothing for me in the workplace. I spent weeks just lying in my bed wondering where did it all go wrong while crying myself to sleep every night. -
Retirement
The social clock and society mostly think that people should retire around the age of 65 or so. But I have decided to retire now since there is nothing for me out there, so why not retire now. I have a bit of money saved up but it won't last me for long, I would have to find another solution. -
Homelessness
The savings that I eventually had ran out and I was evicted from my apartment. Nowadays, I live on the streets with nothing but a shopping cart and a few possessions. What has my life become... -
Change
After spending 6 years on the streets while being homeless, on one particular day when I was sitting on a sidewalk, I felt a hand softly touch my head. I looked around and couldn't believe my eyes. It was my brother. He had been looking for me ever since the big argument I had with my parents which led me to break apart from the family. We went into a restaurant and started to catch up with each other. -
Relationships
My brother gave me a place to stay in his house with all expenses paid. We continued to catch up and he also had invited the family to meet up with me again. We rebuilt the relationships that I once had with them and all was good. His house also had multiply dogs and cats, which I greatly appreciate since I know have a lot of companions. -
Brother's Death
My brother had peacefully passed away on his bed in this cold wintery season. This couldn't be, this can't be happening, this isn't real. I went through Elizabeth's stages of dying and started to think that my brother isn't dead. Then got angry at the world for taking him away from me. Then got on my knees and prayed for him to come back and I would do anything for it to happen. Then go through depression and finally accept that he has died. -
Letter
Dear Family and Friends,
If you are reading this letter, then that means my time has come. I want to be remembered as a contributing member of society and not the man I truly was.
My proudest moment of this life was when my brother had found me in the middle of the streets and reintroduced me to the family and him again, which I am deeply grateful for.
My biggest regret is pushing away family and living a solitary lifestyle, with no human relationships at all. -
Own Death
After several years since my brother's passing, I also peacefully passed while sleeping. Even though I considered really old in the place where I was living, I was able to put of death due to the death deferral theory. An event that I anticipated, my birthday, was coming soon so I put of dying till then.