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Theories:
Gender Schema Theory- Enjoyed and knew what "boy things" were. Like sports, dirt, forts, exploring the woods, play fighting, rough and tumble play (HDEV, pg.124), and playing with cars (HDEV, pg.152).
Baumrind's Style of Parenting- Rejecting/Neglecting: I remember hearing loud arguments which made me and my brothers leave the house for hours on end. Looking back now it was over everyday struggles and understand that now. We had very little rules from a young age. (HDEV, pg.141) -
At 3 years old I should have been able to run around obstacles but that wasn't the case when I ran face first into a wall breaking my nose. The wall wasn't a big enough obstacle (HDEV, pg.121).
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Before I even made it to age four I had broken my nose twice. Mom and dad remember me climbing up the divider that separated our dining room and living room. I almost made it to the top before I feel flat on my face. My 3 year old self was trying to show the gross motor skills of a five year old (HDEV. pg, 121).
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At an early age I enjoyed looking at sports team so much that I remembered all of the team names in the NHL. By seeing them so much I had them scripted in my mind. Scripting (HDEV, pg.135).
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The early childhood years I remember a lot of loud arguments, I remember feeling sad hearing it. My brothers and I stuck together a lot. When they weren't around I would cry on the front lawn and my orange cat Dusty would always come and find me and sit with me. My first real empathy was felt from a cat. I believe this cat made me feel that animals have feelings to.
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Me and my brothers in my day did boy things cause that what boys did. We played sports, built forts, played in the junk yard that was next to our house. I was the youngest so most of the time I did what my brothers were doing.
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Theories:
Sternberg's Theory of Intelligence- In middle childhood I didn't realize my academic or creative intelligence and was never really taught to seek it out. I used street smarts to adapt in life. Paper routes for money, sports for happiness, my brothers, my knowledge to get by, and started knowing how to manage for myself (HDEV. pg.167).
Erikson Stage 4-Inferiority vs Industry: I felt inferior and used that to create a hard working industry to fill the void between the two (HDEV, pg.177). -
The fine motor skills came together for me and I was into all sports I could be. Bowling was my favorite (hand/eye coordination) and I was great at it. I even got to do a lot of physical traveling to participate in tournaments all over the Atlantic Provinces and upper U.S. States.
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Being from what would be seen as a poor family, we didn't have much so street smarts became very relevant early on. Lucky for me my brothers had paper routes so I got one as well to make spending money for toys and later on clothes, food I liked that wasn't bought for me. I also realized being nice to others meant they were more likely to help me if needed. At this point, I didn't know the potential of academic and creative intelligence so street smarts was what I used to get by. (HDEV, pg.167)
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Although I knew I was talented at certain things and that I had friends, I still suffered from a very low self esteem and found myself comparing what my family had to other families. Friends of mine that had more family involvement in their life were the friends I tried to have sleepovers at because I felt a comfort of having meals together with their families as it was something that didn't happen often. I never really knew who I was until later in life.
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During this stage I did learn that I loved being around people of all ages. My parents ran flea markets and did the canteen at bingo in which I met many people way older than I which I still talk to today. Being involved in sports and having freedom made making friends my own age easy. My mother also baby sat kids that were younger than me and I enjoyed helping her which some are still friends of mine till this day. Being raised in such a busy home made for lots of time to meet new people.
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Theories:
Piaget's Formal Operations- The personal fable is what I was, daredevil, risk-taker, center of attention, sharing that experience with others. I am unique. With writing, I felt and still feel an imaginary audience which was my motivation for writing back then (HDEV, pg.204).
Erikson Stage 5-Identity vs Role Confusion: Through most of these years I was an energetic, well liked empty soul with no identity until I met Norm (teacher) who guided me to who I am. I miss him (HDEV, pg.211). -
I found in adolescence that I really enjoyed writing and others enjoyed reading it so the beginning of the imaginary audience started, I had an audience but then decided to dream of writing a book that millions will enjoy. The personal fable began as well as I didn't find my identity until later so everything risky, dare devilish, and attention grabbing was up my alley! (HDEV, pg.204)
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At age 15 it started..... Acne was a friend of mine for many years, shaving became a new skill that needed to be learnt, and trying to hide some of those unwanted erections became a skill that was necessary to avoid embarrassments (HDEV, pg.197).
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Socially things started changing, sports was my family, my friends were made doing these things until...... my older brothers started drinking so I tried and within a short time frame made it my new sport as well. My social crowd changed and so did the focus of my social life. Party time started when I was 15 and lasted through most of my adolescence until I met Norm. Goes along well with the daredevil, risk taker I became during those years.
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Meeting Norm (teacher) in Grade 12 changed it all. He seen right through me, seen what I was capable off and what I could offer to the world. I had no meaningful identity and he knew it, his positive manner, his continuous guidance broke down the confusion in my life and allowed me to refocus my life on positive goals rather than just coasting along wasting my life away. When Norm passed away, I would love to think that I stole some of his identity and added it to mine. (HDEV, pg.211)
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Theories:
Theory of Pragmatic Thought- There came a point in life where me going back to school had to be pushed aside for reality. Work, marriage, Benjamin all came before me returning to school. I became ok with it. When the opportunity to go back to school came along, it felt like an reward (HDEV, 237).
Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love- Katharine and I before Ben: Fatuous Love-Passion and Commitment. After Ben: Companionate Love- Intimacy and Commitment (HDEV, pg. 247). Parenting, lol. -
25 with grey hair, a little early to have this happen in early adulthood but sometimes we don't follow the rules (HDEV, pg.258). At the age of 37 I'm also finding out how stress and the immune system can effect wellness in a detrimental way. Year after year, jumping on the trampoline with Ben is getting tougher by the year as my aerobic capacity seems to be on the decline some (HDEV. pg.259).
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The stage of being with someone so I wasn't single changed with Katharine. When we first met it was all about looks as we were strangers and didn't know each other at all. She was beautiful and like most people at this age, attraction is whats first sought out. I just happen to get extremely lucky with her also being smart, resourceful, kind, loving, a wonderful partner, and amazing mother (HDEV, pg.244). We are pretty much yin and yang but this became our strength filing each others voids.
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Lucky for me that all through my life I have been known to be someone who can't sit still and is very active so staying in good shape has never been an issue for me. Constantly moving around, someone who has always been active in sports, and taking up a lot of hiking in early adulthood has kept me in good physical health. My BMI is a 22 and should range between a 18.5-25. Hopefully that will continue into middle adulthood. (HDEV, pg.228)
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My social life changed when Ben was born and parenthood started. It's a major thing to become a father and to do it well required change in my social life. I was so ready for this and the change was easy. My job was always sociable so that became my main social life outside my family. My circle of friends over the years became very small so I could still manage time with them. Where I wanted to be was where I belonged was at home raising my wonderful child with Katharine (HDEV, pg.253).
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Dualistic thinking is a way I live. Positive (Katharine and I) but also a negative (good vs bad in the world). I tend to be very competitive when I feel like its a "us versus them". Superheroes became a major ideal of mine in early adulthood as I decided my life of mischief was over and my fight for the good in the world became my new mission. I would reference relativistic thinking with gambling. It's not absolute that I will be an addict but my culture may say otherwise (HDEV, pg.237).
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In this time of life, a few crisis's happened. Both parents sick, being sick myself, being a father and husband while running a huge retail store during the busy season became to much. It's made me depressed and over time I couldn't manage it any longer and had what I believe was my mid life crisis. I spent a lot of time looking back at life and decided it was time for a change. I left my career behind and returned to school to follow my dreams. The crisis has passed. (HDEV, pg.275)
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Finally.... Getting back to school to follow my dreams. It wasn't something that happened the way I wanted it to, I had to get sick and receive funding to do so. This made it all more important to make it a success. Going back as a mature learner has been a blessing. Going back now has given me a maturity of wanting to be there, wanting to learn all that I can, and to be a leading example for anyone younger in my class. Maximizing my opportunity however I can (HDEV, pg.271).
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Referring to the tasks of middle adulthood these have been part of my life throughout time, most happening during early adulthood. Examples like becoming involved in meaningful social responsibilities and establishing a deeper relationship with my wife. Adjusting to demands of helping care for parents/grandparents and adjusting to physical changes like grey hair and loss of strength. I have always had enjoyable leisure activities and maintaining good work performance (HDEV, pg.274).
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Theories:
Erikson Stage 7-Generativity vs Stagnation: Solid focus on family life and final career choices. A big feeling of what will I leave behind for Benjamin and Katharine, what my mark on the world may look like (HDEV, pg. 273).
Daniel Levinson's Seasons of Change- My social clock has changed the last few years as my vision of appropriateness has conformed more than in early years. Some personal and family crisis's I believe brought on a mid-life crisis that created change (HDEV, pg.275).