Natasha's timeline

By Natasha2788

  • Natasha is born

  • Natasha begins preschool

    Natasha experiences severe separation anxiety from her mother.

  • Natasha experiences first suicidal thoughts while hearing parents fighting

    Writes in her diary

  • First childhood move - to Morristown, NJ

    Natasha makes a lot of friends at her new school.

  • Doctor says Natasha needs to lose weight.

    Dad tells me I'm too chubby all the time. Mom puts me on diets with her.

  • Bistis family babysits me

    They are nicer to me than my dad and their mom isn't too busy for me like mine is. I silently pray that they were my real parents.

  • Second childhood move - to Basking Ridge, NJ

    Natasha misses her old friends and does not like it here.

  • Natasha tells her teacher she is depressed.

    She is forced to speak with the guidance counselor and a therapist; has very negative experiences with adults. Nobody listens.

  • Natasha starts skipping lunch @ school.

    Gets in trouble with the teacher. Negotiates w/teacher to not tell her parents.

  • Natasha asks her crush to be her date for a dance and is rejected.

    But he says yes to her friend.

  • Natasha begins losing weight.

    First time I ever felt good about myself.

  • Grandma Judith dies

  • Dad, a formerly rabid atheist, converts to Christianity.

    Natasha eagerly joins until she no longer has the choice.

  • Natasha starts throwing up to help her lose weight

  • Grandpa Earl dies

  • Natasha fights daily thoughts of suicide.

    Makes a list of people who would be hurt if she did. Reads it to herself every day so that she won't. Never told anyone.

  • Class videotape project: Maximized on Natasha's nose

    Class project for my first class in high school/mixed age group. Entire class sees and laughs. I have extreme social anxiety and dissociate for hours as a result of humiliation.

  • Dad violently shakes Natasha out of anger: "I was looking in closets for your body!"

    She had left a note on the kitchen table to say she would be out after school with her new friends. He had not seen it.

  • Natasha drops to 84 pounds.

    Father is annoyed. Mom makes passive comments.

  • Grandpa Phil dies

  • Attempt suicide; admitted to hospital

    I meet amazing people in the other patients. I cry when I hear all their stories. Find myself motivated by talking with them.

  • Natasha is forced into therapy

    Felt like punishment.

  • Lost virginity - sexually assaulted

    I do not realize for many years that I was sexually assaulted. Nobody else knew either.

  • Drank a liter of vodka on New Years.

  • Second suicide attempt

    My dad tells me I am "f**ked up." He is angry that my actions are hurting my mom. I am high from all the pills I swallowed and feel better than I've ever felt in my life. Commit to never swallowing pills that make me high again.

  • High school graduation

  • Start college

  • Natasha gets a nose job

    Finally, not a target for bullying.

  • College graduation

  • First full-time job

    Extremely stressful, but I got through it.

  • Natasha commits to a vegan lifestyle

    I learned a lot more about people than animals.

  • My good friend, Emily, stops talking to me.

    Devastating

  • Move to PA

  • Begin dating "Ahole."

  • Begin working at UnitedHealthcare

    case management

  • Begin taking an SSRI.

    For the first time in my life, I am not severely depressed.

  • "Ahole" and I break up. We never speak again.

    I am free as a bird.

  • Met Dayn/My love

    He accepts me unconditionally.

  • Begin master's program at Aspen University

  • Dayn and I buy a house together