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early jewish idenity
Up to about 6 years old, everyone seemed to be orthodox. It was only around first grade that I realized how diffrent my family was to the other Jewish families in my school - but who was right? -
"Naoming" AKA Naming
I was born on Shabbat in late July, and named after my great grandmother, Anne, and my father's-high-school-girlfriend's-mother (Naomi) - At least according to my father. My mom said she just liked the name Naomi. Both of my parents were ba'al teshuvas, and were becoming more Orthodox. -
Brother's Bris
My little brother was born on Nov 23rd, when I was three years old. I never thought about it this way before, but his bris (and visiting him as a newborn in the hospital) are my earliest memories. At his bris, I remember not geing able to see, and climing up on a chair in the men's section. I still couldn't see! There was a kiddush after with delicious cookies, and I asked my mom why I didn't get to have this kind of party when I was born. She said I had the same cookies at my naming. -
Hebrew Hebrew Hebrew
Morah Greenberg broke the news to my mom in a parent teacher meeting - It was my 3rd year in day school, and I still had no idea what was happening in our Ivrit'b'Ivrit Hebrew classes. I still got passed onto the next grade every year! -
Beautiful Girls
Every Shabbat my dad, little brother and I would walk about 2miles to go to shul. Sometimes people would pull over and offer to give us a lift to where we were going, and my father would thank them but say no. I wasn't sure why there were so many people driving on shabbat. Once at a red light, a driver told my father he had two beautiful girls. My brother had his first haircut at three, and cried like crazy! -
Under the Bimah
From the time I could walk until I was about 7, I used to sit in the men's section at shul with the Rabbi's younget daughter, Sarah. The bimah had a crossbeam under it that we could sit on together, and the long velvet covering over the bimah created a kind of tent for us. We would crawl out to the playroom when we got bored of our tent, but the sounds of prayer and the back and forth sway of talitot stays with me. -
The Catskills, Hurricane Andrew and School
My family had been vacatioing in the bortch belt when Andrew brought us home early. Two thoughts: being part of a much larger Orthodox community, which was totally different than my pluralistic elementry school, and wondering how bad things could happen to so many people. -
My first Siddur
We each memorized a line from ashrei and got siddurs! I decorated mine in puff paint. I was so proud! -
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Hebrew Academy Years
In 5th grade I transfered to an Orthodox day school, where everyone was like me. Throughout these years my entire outlook was based on a solid foundation of Halacha and Torah. -
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The gay years (part 1)
In middle school I learned the word 'gay' from reading the newspaper, and learned what it meant by reading a friends Seventeen magazine. This new word did not fit into my Jewish world. I hung up pictures of male movie stars in my room, invented a crush on the least offensive guy in the male part of our school, and played straight for a few years. -
Mathew Sheppard Killed
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Ethics and Judaism
Our class on Ethics in Judaism gave me hope that a better world was possible. We looked at (among other things) homosexuality in Judaism from a halachic perspective. The Halacha was on my side - though society was not. Maybe someday that would change... -
Coming out
Right before my 16th birthday, I came out to my two best friends and little brother. I had to - I felt like it was eating me inside. Neither of them brought up halacha or norms. But I went though the rest of high school on edge. The Jewish world seemed too small, and I was ready to get out. -
FREEDOM!
Graduation over, and I was off to a NON JEWISH UNIVERISTY! I was so done. I swore to not keep shabbat or daven, and to be free and gay gay gay! -
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Univeristy of Michigan
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first shabbat at michigan
I worked very hard to not keep the first shabbat. I spent the day sitting in Borders, reading and wondering what I was doing with my life. -
Second shabbat at Michigan
I gave in and spent the day at Hillel, with the orthodox minyan.
Turns out that there's other types of orthodoxy. And being queer didn't seem to be a problem.
I started to work through my complicated feelings towards orthodoxy. -
Understanding Shabbat
On a summer break home in Miami, I was walking to shul with my father and talking about the nature of Shabbat. Throughout my Junior year of univeristy I had split more and more from orthodoxy, so being back home for a few weeks was a jolt to the system. I said to my father, "I don't know how the goyim do it. Just keep going..." --- But I was really talking about mysef. -
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Working world - AmeriCorps and Seoul
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Coming out (part 2)
Right before Yom Kippur I came out to my parents and was put in herem for one year. Judaism was my life (I was working in Interfaith Community Organizing) but at the same time not. -
A new minyan
Living in Korea, I went to shul a lot. I taught Hebrew and Halacha and realized that I knew alot about being Jewish. More than that, I cared about being Jewish.
I had to be outside everything that I knew to figure that out. As I started my 2nd year in Korea, I started planning on going to Pardes to study. -
God on the Subway
My last month in Korea was not good. I turned to Hashem, more than any other time in my life, for help. Something happened that month that has made me SURE that there is a Gd that impacts our lives. -
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Pardes!
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Diabetes (Part 1)
I was diagnosed in May with Type 2 diabetes. Possibly the worst news of my life. And it wasn't even right. For the two months that I thought I had Type 2, I stopped praying. I felt nothing. What was Gd? Why study Torah? How could the god that I felt so much in Korea be gone in Israel? -
Diabetes (part 2)
On July 5th I called my mom from camp to tell her that my blood sugar was out of control. She said she knew it would have happened sooner or later - Before I had gone to camp I had some tests done to test my pancreas, and she had found out that I had Type 1. Not Type 2, which is controled by diet, but Type 1. Nothing in my life has been as awful as that moment on the phone. Where was Gd then? -
Today
My judaism has changed, and my practice. I daven egal, and I believe in us instead of 'the book'. I'm not sure where I'll go from here :)