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I was born at 5:33 PM in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. My parents are Kevin & Beth. They were so proud.
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My little brother was born at 7:14 AM in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Same parents, but less proud than they were of their first child.
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I had my first day of kindergarten at St. Jude Elementary in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. My teacher was Mrs. Carney and I had the best cubby location - right next to the door.
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My parents told me we were moving while we were at a McDonald's Play Place. I cried for an hour. We moved to Atkins and I started third grade at Atkins Elementary. My teacher was Mrs. Markewitz.
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I started 7th grade at Benton Community MS/HS. I met a ton of new kids and was clearly the most popular one there. My awkward stage had officially begun.
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I stayed in the same school, but moved to a different wing to begin the best four years of my life. Again, I was clearly the coolest person there.
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Slow as molasses but tough as nails, I was ready to play as a forward for the Lady Bobcats JV Basketball team.
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I was born to be a star and I finally got to let my talents shine. With that sequined dress and bright red lipstick, I was ready to make the world my stage.
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Bringing the heat on the mound, I played in my first Varsity softball game. Later that season, I got my first start in a game. Don't mess with me - I've got a mean curve.
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After four grueling years of work, I graduated from Benton Community. Naturally, everyone was bawling during my speech. Everyone was going to miss me so much.
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I enrolled at UNI in their Pre-Nursing program, only to transfer to Kirkwood Community College four months later and later change my major. This was all thanks to my high school boyfriend who I thought was "The One". What an idiot I was.
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I got a gig coaching softball at Prairie High School in Cedar Rapids after my first year of college. I loved it so much, I changed my major to education. Now I'm here, with all of you people.
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I finished my AA at Kirkwood CC, which is about as exciting as it sounds. I didn't walk at the ceremony because I had better things to do, like literally anything else.
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I spent three years and thousands of dollars to end up here, with you people. Again, what an idiot I am.
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All the work was finally over. I was a super senior, but I made it through. I walked across the stage and I didn't trip, so yay me.
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It's about as exciting as it sounds. I mean, I'm stuck here with you people for 8 hours a day.
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My boyfriend Jason asked me to marry him. He's alright I guess, so I agreed.
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My husband, Jason, and I were married on April 21st, 2018. It was a great day, especially because none of you people were there.
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My husband welcomed our first child, Aiden James, on July 12, 2019. He's already better than any of you ever will be.
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Jensen was born in March 2022. He's also already superior to the rest of you.