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Birth
I was born at 12:18 am in Wenatchee WA. I was the first child of both my parents. For the most part I was healthy but had severe jaundice and had to be kept for several days under a heating lamp in the hospital. My father cried because he coudln't take me home with him. -
Period: to
Lindsay Craven--Lifespan
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Period: to
Lindsay Craven Lifespan
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Biosocial
I was a very active and engaged baby. My mother was a voracious reader and wanted her kids to be the same; she kept me constantly engaged with books and toys. I was the first grandchild for my dad's parents and the first grandchild that didn't live hours away for my mom's parents so I was doted on by everyone. -
Biosocial
My mother was a telephone operator and often worked night shifts so I spent a lot of time with my dad after he got off work from his job as a truck driver. He says that I was very fussy when she wasn't there and one of the only things that would calm me down was for him to walk me up and down, bouncing and dancing with me along to his huge collection of blues and rock records. He says I especially liked Taj Mahal, Led Zeppelin, and Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison. -
Cognitive
My first word was "wabiden". It meant water. I somehow made that word up from hearing the word "water" but used it all the time to ask for water. I picked up language very quickly and was speaking clearly with full sentences by three, which is actually true of both my siblings as well. -
Psychosocial
My mother was able to stay home with me (although she worked nights until I was about 3) until I was around 14 so I spent a lot of time with her. She did not think preschool was necessary but I did participate in classes like dance, gymnastics, or play groups while she spent time with other moms. However, I was still very shy and clinged to her, not really liking it if she ever left me with anyone besides my grandparents. -
My Early Play Years
I made close friends with children of my mothers best friends, but they lived in another town so I missed them when I started school. I was also given a lot of freedom to play outside with loose supervision; we lived in a very rural area in the woods and I loved to play in the backyard watching my little sister who was three years younger than me. Being a big sister was very important to me and I took looking out for her very seriously. -
Psychosocial
Some of my first memories involve being with my grandparents. I spent almost as much time with them as my own parents. They were the ones who watched us if a babysitter was needed. I remember not feeling very safe or secure if I was left with anyone else, and although I had met and socialized with many other children I still only felt safe in the cocoon of my parents or grandparents home. -
Starting school
Kindergarten seemed like quite a shock to me. I was very shy and knew none of the children so was quite scared when I entered the classroom. We lived in a rural, blue collar town where many parents seemed rather rough compared to my soft hippy mother. I remember being made fun of because I was too "nice" and because I thought hugging my friends was appopriate--another little girls mom said hugging was "weird". -
Psychosocial--Extracurricural activities
During my elementary years I started some extracurricular activities that I would carry on with through high school. At age 7 I started playing basketball, which everyone in my small town played. A sure way to be an outcast was to not play basketball! I also got very involved in girl scouts and started taking flute lessons and getting involved in singing. -
Elementary School
Elementary school continued to be hard. I often felt like a "nerd" because I enjoyed reading and wasn't as rough and tumble as many of the other kids. I did have a few close friends but as I look back I am amazed at how "cool kids" were established even from an early age. My town was extremely small (100 kids in the entire K-12 school) so these cliques were established for life! My parents rapidly imploding marriage was not helping either. -
Leaving Elementary School
As I left elementary school, I was haphazzard about school work. I was very intelligent in some areas but did not receive support in the areas where I needed extra help, like math. Because most subjects were so easy for me, I was very lazy about them. I was very unhappy at home and would act out in school, doing things like creating elaborate stories about something I hadn't really done to impress my classmates and teachers. -
Adolescence
Junior high school was like a ticking time bomb for me. Things were horrible between my parents, my mother had to work long hours at two jobs to make ends meet, and I was in charge of my two siblings. Our junior high shared the same building as the high school and most of my friends were dating senior boys and were experimenting with drugs and sex. I didn't want either, but did want to fit in. -
Adolescence II
I continued to hang out with kids that were experimenting with drugs and exploring sex, often with much older boys. I am so grateful my mom caught me smoking and grounded me so I got a reprieve from that kind of behavior; I could have very well ended up pregnant like half the girls in my class did at 14. Even though I went through all this I still did well in school and pursued sports and music. -
Adolescence III
As I graduated high school I looked back on four years of working very hard on my interests. I won awards for English and music and for playing on my high school basketball team. I had a solid base of three or four very good friends, but still always felt a little bit inferior, unable to shake that shy, nerdy girl I had been in elementary school. I wanted to be a writer, musician, or social worker. -
Pshychosocial
Although I had a very difficult time when I first moved away from home, I gradually started to make new friends. It was wonderful to make friends completely on my own terms, not just in the context of who I had been stuck with in high school (although I still have two very close high school friends). This definitely began a time of me defining myself on my own terms. I also had my first serious boyfriend, who I dated for about two years. -
Emerging Adulthood
After high school I moved into an apartment with my high school best friend and attended community college. I was completely out of my element, knowing no one, and my trademark shyness made it very hard to make friends. I was so excited to be on my own though, away from a tumultuous home life and in control. -
Finishing College and continued emerging adulthood
I moved from my hometown to finish college at Western WA University. This was a huge step for me, being from such a small town and having hardly traveled at all. I had to learn how to make new friends, learn how to present myself, and focus on what I wanted to learn. I got my BA but wish I had been more thoughtful in my studies and focused less on fun. I am paying for that now as I am just now working on what I will do when I "grow up". I also met the man who would be my first husband. -
Emerging adulthood and Marriage
I married a man six years my senior as soon as I got out of college. Looking back I realize I was afraid of being alone and also falling into patterns set by watching my own mothers relationship with my father who was an abusive, alcoholic drug addict until he became sober. I spent two years married to this man and spent most of it feeling like a zombie, never measuring up, unhappy, unhealthy, and ignoring all my goals. I felt trapped in the image of a perfect wife. -
Emerging Adulthood=Breaking free
In 2005 I left my marriage. I spent an explosive year having fun, making new friends with healthy people, addressing some of the damage from my marriage, and refocusing my goals. I finally buckled down to try to achieve my goal of working in a helping profession, got a job at a non-profit, and started making plans to pursue further education. -
Emerging Adulthood--Making it Happen
By this time I had moved to Seattle. I was working hard, saving and finding access to further my education. I had spent the last few years volunteerring, reading, and educating myself on who I wanted to be in the world, which is a passionate fighter for social justice in the areas that are important to me: youth in trauma situations, women facing domestic violence and homelessness, and Native American issues of justice (my grandmother eing full Northern Cheyenne). -
Living my goals
From 2009 until now I have been pursuing certification for chemical dependency counseling. I have remarried to a wonderful man who shares my goals and values. I am getting more and more involved in advocacy and activism and in many ways have never felt better. -
Currently
As I finish my schooling and look toward my internship to become a counselor, I feel like I am truly actualizing who and what I want to be. On the other hand, I have spent most of my life putting off dealing with the many traumas I have faced in my own life and this is creating some problems, I am learning that being a full and healthy adult self care and mental health maintenance is vital, because I am currently in a place where not dealing with this is getting in the way of my goals. -
Adulthood
I look forward to entering the field I have worked so hard to be a part of. I want to add further education, even up to a doctorate. I want to help run and to found grassroots organizations that help people help themselves on their own terms. I want to have at least two children but I keep putting it off for the other things I am doing. -
Middle Adulthood
By the time I am 50 I hope to have an accomplished career as a social worker and activist. I would like to have two older children. I am trying to eat right and focus on exercise to keep healthy as I age. My family is all incredibly hardy and long lived in spite of hard living and there have never been any genetic issues such as heart trouble, etc. I feel very strongly that I would like to support my parents as they age themselves. -
Late Adulthood
I can see myself retiring around age 70 but noone in my family ever really retires--they get too bored. They just get part time jobs or spend all their time volunteering and I can see myself doing the same. My grandfathers lived into their 80s and my grandmas are both in their 90s now. My great grandfather lived to be 103. I am counting on my good genes to give me a full older adulthood--but I worry about my husband who has high blood pressure and eats way too much pizza.