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I was hired to be a Refreshment Center Attendent...and I hated every moment of it. Lonely and over-worked.
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Well, I remember a little guilt, because I had started to work out and didn't want to ruin my diet and new found exercise. It wasn't extreme at this time.
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This crash caused my first concussion as well as a sprained neck/back. I wasn't allowed to work out for over 2 months.
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Directly after the car crash, I was told I couldn't work out. At this time I had started to see results from my exercise, so I was desperate to keep those results. This is the beginning of me losing my identity.
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I spent the whole day being cold, due to my low weight. I had lied and said I had class, in order to skip my mother's birthday dinner.
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I didn't realize I had a problem...fully. My parents knew something was up.
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Where I broke down and cried, because I felt so cold, desperate, and scared. Realizing I had a problem.
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I don't remember too much of this day, I visited my high school and talked to some of my teachers about my eating disorder. My one teacher became a really good friend out of this disorder. Then, I went to the concert and felt completely paranoid about everyone standing and staring at me and my body.
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This kicked off probably the worst week of my life and I never want to revisit that feeling of desperation again. I called my mother 20 times asking her to come and get me. I get chills everytime I think of this day/week. It got easier though.
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I was so mad, I was .1 away from being released. Thankfully, my favorite band, Panic! at the Disco released a new song, album, and music video.
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I had to wait until 7pm to go home, because I went straight to partial treatment. I cried when I got home and laid on my bedroom floor.
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I spent the day at partial until 7pm, but later had an excellent birthday party with my best friends. I even challanged myself to birthday cake, but had a veggie burger instead of a hamburger.
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I was released from partial and set down treatment. Free of Western Psych, but not my eating disorder. Unfortunately.
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After a semester off, I just had to go back to school.
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One thing off my bucket list!