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On this day I was brought into the world with my dad thinking I was his first boy. He said as soon as they brought me out in a blue blanket he grabbed me and checked for himself. But surprise I was his first girl.
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my mom and dad fought a lot during this time, I remember always wanting to be with my dad. My sisters and brother were born during this time. Heather born 85, Sara born 86 and Moses born 87. I spent a lot time with my grandmother during this time as my parents had their hands full.
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My parents were separated and divorced in 1992. Around 92, 93 we moved in with my moms boyfriend, I was about 11. My mom spent a lot of time away for work so I spent a lot if time with my sisters and cousins. That was around the time the abuse happened, The only people I told were my 2 best friends. I played basketball then, but don't remember much more of this time frame.
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During this time I went thru many different stages, missing school, running away, fighting with my mom and drinking. I moved in with my grandma and she helped me get right, I stayed in school and decided I needed a change so I joined the army and left for basic 2 weeks after graduation. Leaving home to be on my own was the hardest yet best decision I ever made. But I stayed strong and stuck with it.
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After my first deployment I had my son and had to leave him before his 1st birthday
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After joining the military I was stationed in Kentucky where I met my then husband, we got married and then moved to Hawaii. before my first deployment we divorced. I then had my son after my deployment but me and his dad didn't work out. I have always been independent and I feel that sometimes scare men away. I have had trust issues since I was abused and that makes me feel more safe alone sometimes. I do have close friendships outside of my family.
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My last deployment before leaving the army after 12 yrs.
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After 10 years of just me and my son, my daughter makes her appearance and it is a big adjustment for me. I was working as a manager then and I put work before everything and everyone. I feel in that sense is why I felt I had post partum depression.
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For this time my hope is to watch my kids grow up and finish school. I want to be able to be doing something I love. I want to create lasting memories and just enjoy life
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"The acceptance of ones one and only life cycle as something that had to be" By this age I want to be able to have accepted all that has happened to me and be happy in my life, watch my kids succeed and maybe be a grandma by then. To be able to pass down my life experiences and help others.
