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Family
I was born in Roswell, New Mexico to Les & Sandra Carter. They came from a long line of hard working people. My Dad's family were cattle/ranch people who emphasized strong work ethic and pushing yourself to give your best effort at all times. My Mom's family were union workers at a local mine and refinery who stressed the importance of loyalty and taking care of family.
My parents married very young and took turns putting each other through college. My dad became a teacher and my mom a CPA. -
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Cultural Roots
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Commitment to Relationships
The first event in my life that had a lasting impact on me and affected my outlook was the divorce of my parents. In looking back from an adult perspective, I recognize that our situation was very unique in that my older brother, Troy, lived with my dad and I stayed with my mom.
Though my parents were able to be amicable toward one another, this event formed my deep desire to never go through a divorce of my own. When my spouse and I married, we committed that divorce would never be an option. -
Small Town to Big City
A move to San Antonio from New Mexico came when my mom got married my stepdad. Moving to a city the size of San Antonio was a bit of a culture shock for me. San Antonio was also a culturally rich city with lots of Hispanic influences. This allowed me to appreciate different cultures while also developing a comfort with people who were not exactly like me. -
Birth Order and Family Dynamics
My mom and stepdad had two children together. They are 14 months apart, and I was 12/13 when they were born. I took on the role of big sister/little mom with the large age gap. This responsibility caused me to mature faster than some of my peers. The role of "caregiver" became very natural for me.
Since my dad and stepmom never had children of their own, when with them, I was still the baby of the family. If birth order truly does impact personality, then I don't know what that means for me! -
Faith of My Own
I grew up going to church with my family, but I never felt connected to the people at the church my parents attended. In my junior year of high school I started attending youth events with my friends who went to another church. As I grew in my connection to that church, I grew in my understanding of my own faith. My parents gave me permission to start going to that church on Sunday mornings as well, and I eventually became a member there. -
Independence & Higher Education
I went to Texas Tech University, which was 6+ hours from home. However, being in Lubbock put me only 3 hours from my dad's house. For the first time since my parents divorced, I was close enough to my dad's home that I could get in a car and get there easily.
Being at Tech also opened my eyes to the fact that there were people who would make a judgment about someone based on their race. This was really my first experience of hearing derogatory comments made toward people of other races. -
Career Choices
In the summers during my college years, I worked at my church as a summer intern in the youth group. After graduating from Tech, I moved back to San Antonio and taught 1st grade for 2 years.
In Spring of 2000, I decided that I needed to work in full-time youth ministry. This change of career was a little scary and put me in a less stable financial situation. However, my commitment to following what I believed God was leading me to do was necessary, and proved to be a great decision. -
Partnership
While working at the church, I started a Masters in Christian Education program and was able to attend classes at a satellite campus in San Antonio. Eventually I had to move to Fort Worth to complete the program. This move allowed me to work in youth ministry at another church and add to my understanding of how to be a good youth minister.
I also met my husband, Matt, while at grad school. He was pursuing the same degree as me and had a passion for youth ministry as well. -
New Region & New Role
My husband was at a church in southern Illinois when we got married. As a newlywed, I left Texas and moved 18 hours from my family. For the first time since 1998, I did not have a job. This was a struggle for me to have to rely on someone else.
Thankfully after a few months I was able to get connected to a college ministry position. This helped me to feel like I had a purpose in this new place.
It was also a bit of a challenge to adjust to some of the cultural differences of the Midwest. -
Parenthood & Sacrifice
My view of the world completely shifted when we became parents. All of a sudden, there is someone else that is completely reliant upon you for survival, nurturing and guidance. Your decisions no longer impact just you and your spouse. Now you have to think about how your decisions will impact your children.
Having my own children also caused me to quit judging other parents when their kids were throwing fits in public. I became a much more empathetic person! -
Back to Small Town
My husband followed a lead on a senior pastor position that took us from Illinois to Marshall, Texas. Marshall is a small town that sits about 30 miles from the Louisiana border.
The community is equally split between Hispanic, White and African American. However, the most noticeable differences in the town are socioeconomic in nature. There is a small middle class, even smaller wealthy and a large percentage of lower income. There is a lot of division in the town both in race and status. -
Public Education
After working at a small private university in Marshall for years, I decided I needed to go back into public education. This change landed me at Marshall High School, where I taught elective classes for two years. Before the 2021-2022 school year began, I was asked to consider filling an open School Counselor position, and I accepted it.
This role continues to open my eyes to the needs of the younger generation. I am also much more aware of the struggles the families in our community face.