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1.1 Entering Adolescents
I remember around 11 or 12 years old that I started noticing boys and wanting them to notice me. It wasn't until after I got my first period (age 12) that I wanted to "date." This was the time that I felt like I was entering adolescents. With each year I felt like I would take on more personal responsibilities and engaging myself in activities outside the home.
With my parents having their issues I wasn't comfortable going to them for any issues I would have so I would confide in my friends. -
2.1 Maturational Timing
My sexual maturation was average. I entered menarche when I was 12 yrs old, that first period introduced itself to me while I was in school! I had the typical growth spurts as I should have except for my breasts. Those didn't really pop out until I had my first kid. Now that I look back I'm glad I didn't develop them because of the peer pressures I had to face when it came to boys. -
2.2 Niche-picking
I was a Tomboy growing up, always outside, getting dirty, and playing sports. That is how my dad was. My 2 sisters are like my mom who are girlie girls. I stayed outside as long as possible exploring the neighborhoods.
My diet was somewhat healthy, my mom always cooked healthy meals but I loved skittles and always spent my extra money on big bags.
When I entered adolescents I began having difficulty sleeping, this has continued on through today. Both of my parents have insomnia. #ItSucks🤣 -
7.2 Transitioning from elementary to middle school
I do remember feeling like the top dog in 6th grade, partially because I had 2 siblings that were younger. It was a feeling of growing up. 6th grade was the first time that I learned how to use a computer, before that I would use a typewriter for book reports. This was also a time that my body was changing & I noticed others too. When I entered 7th grade many of the girls had physically developed & they were wearing skimpy clothing. My style needed an update but I couldn't afford nicer clothes. -
3.1- Social Cognition
In structures settings like school and church I always thought people were looking at me, imaginary audience. When my body was going through the typical physical changes I was self conscience of my boobs not growing but the amount of I zits on my face were. So I would cover half my face with my long hair. I wouldn't turn my head from side to side because I imagined that would draw people's attention and they'd be looking at my zits. Outside of these settings I didn't have that imaginary feeling. -
7.1- Transition to High School
My junior high was only 7th & 8th grade so we didn't have too much of the "top-dog" phenomenon. When it came time for 9th grade it was trying to fit in that was a challenge. There were over 2,000 students & a clique for everyone. I was trying to figure out where I fit in while still keeping the friends I had since 1st grade. This was a stressful time at home so coming to school and doing sports was my getaway. I ended up failing my history class & did summer school. That's when we moved to NY. -
3.3 Social Comparison
The HS I attended in MD had 2k students but the my new HS in NY had only 800 students. This was a major change for me. 95% of the homes in the NY school district were very wealthy people. Our family was in the 5%. Classmates were getting brand new cars for their 16th birthdays, BMW, pickup trucks, cute sporty cars. I got a used Geo Storm. From the start I was trying to wear clothing to help me fit in, go to the same parties as the popular kids. I was comparing what I didn't have w/ everyone else -
4.1 Gender Intensification
When I moved from MD to NY (10th grade) is when I noticed more of girls dressing feminine. I never felt compelled to conform to the gender intensification, I still don't, & I'm proud to be still be androgynous. I didn't want to attract a guy because of the way I dressed so I was never pressured into that social norm of dressing cute. All my boyfriends liked to play sports just like me so I didn't feel like a fake when we were together. -
8.1- rite of passage
There are many little events that I could share as a "rite of passage" but the one that sticks out the most is getting my drivers license. In NY state the requirements for getting a drivers license is easy compared to MD (where I live now). So when I got mine it opened up so many doors to freedom. I could drive myself to school, I got a job, I could hang out with friends, take myself shopping. It was glorious! My grandfather even got me a beat up Geo Storm as a gift. Taught myself about cars. -
3.2 Differentiation
After moving to NY I felt like I was having to adapt all my personalities to the different groups of people I engaged with. My family, I was unhappy at home because of the move and my parents always fighting, my grumpiness contributed to the unhappy home life. With friends, I was trying new groups to see where I fit in, jocks/nerds/stoners. When I met my husband he helped me tame those insecurities. I didn't feel like I was being pulled in every direction trying to please my dif group of friends -
6.1- parent adolescent conflict
It didn't seem to matter what I did or what I didn't do, but I was always getting in trouble with my mom. I her defense, she was struggling with major depressive disorder. After I turned 16, got my driver's license, & got a job, I wasn't as home much. This seemed to create a greater conflict between the two of us, since with both were displaying egocentrism at that time. I did "experiment" some to try and find an escape from reality but when I met my husband at 16 he gave new meaning to my life. -
6.3 Intimacy
When I met my husband I was 16 & he 21. We become close friends immediately and weren't official until 3 months later. He became my rock in a time that I needed stability and showed me my self-worth. We both felt that we could tell each other everything, & we did. When Allyson wasn't dating someone, the 3 of us were always out & about doing something. I was very fortunate to have 2 best friends, one of them being a kissing buddy. -
1.2 Emerging Adulthood
As soon as I graduated high school I got an apartment with 2 friends. This was the time that I felt like I was finally an adult. Although I was 17, I had 3 jobs and loved my independent life, I guess you could call this "the age of possibilities". I had no desire to attend college but knew that I would need to some day so I took only a couple of genED classes.(25 yrs later here I am) I created opportunities for myself to make ends meet but gave myself room to have a social life. -
6.2 Companionship
I met Allyson my first day of school when I moved to NY. she had just moved from TX so we were both in the same boat, miserable. We connected instantly and were always together when we were allowed the time. Her home life was worse than mine so we both understood each other, eventually her's was so bad that she moved into our home to let her alcoholic mother "calm down." We have remained friends despite the distance and always joke how we turned out better then we should have given our childhood -
7.3- Intrinsic Motivation
I'd say senior year I really needed to self motivate. I was determined to graduate & move out of the house. My 2 resource teachers were a huge support in helping me with my learning disability, they were able to explain my homework in a way that I could cognitively understand. It was my choice to take my tests & do homework with them & I am forever grateful. If I chose to stay in the classroom for tests I would have run out of time & my teachers wouldn't read the questions to me.