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Conception to Birth
I was probably conceived in July of 1985 as I was born May 6, 1986. My mom and dad were a new couple and were not married. Because of religious and societal pressure, my parents were quickly married by October 12, 1985, though they probably wouldn't have otherwise. My mom was very stressed through pregnancy and smoked throughout. -
Period: to
Womb Through Middle Childhood
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Birth
I was born this day. The delivery was easy and quick. I was very healthy and both of my parents were happy. My five year old brother, Keith, was also excited. -
First 6 months
I was a very happy baby and rarely cried. I was also very independent and could entertain myself for hours. Because of this, and to my parents' regret, I was left alone a lot and not held enough. As an adult, I tend to be a loner and have a hard time getting close to people. My comfort needs were not met as an infant. -
Birth through age one
My mom worked a lot and was the breadwinner of the family. She owned her own insurance agency. My dad apparently liked to cause trouble and smoked a lot of marijuana. He was fired and unemployed a lot. My mom struggled to trust my father. She brought me to work with her as an infant. I went to daycare around age one and my maternal grandparents also took care of me. -
Age 1-2
My dad watched me a lot as well when he didn't have a job. He was a musician and played Disney tapes for me all of the time, which is probably why I am gifted in music and language. I learned to sing in tune and speak well at a very young age (full and complete sentences at the age of two). Adults would offer me money to sing for them and were in awe of my language skills. -
Birth of my sister, Katie
My sister was born on 7/21/88. She was born with meningitis and basically lived in the hospital for her first 4 years. Many times she was not expected to survive. Because of this, I was abandoned in many ways. I no longer was taken to work with my mom or cared for by my dad. I went to preschool daily and was cared for by my grandparents. I remember being very sad as a young child because I had to go to daycare all of the time. -
Pushed sister down the stairs
I became very jealous of my sister, but could not comprehend that at the time. Sometimes when she would come home from the hospital, which were short-lived visits, I would do things like pinch her when no one was looking. I actually have a memory of pushing her down the stairs in her "super-coop." Luckily she was okay, but my parents realized that my needs were not being met. -
Spoiled from 2-4
My parents felt guilty that I wasn't getting enough attention due to my sister's illness, so they basically spoiled me. Every time that I cried or wanted something, I got it. This is probably why as an older child I got very upset when I didn't get my way. -
Dance
My parents put me in dance classes at the age of four. I mainly did tap and ballet. I believe that dance helped me with coordination, muscle tone, strength, a good physique and athleticism as an older child and adult. I feel that it also helped develop confidence. -
Singing at church
My dad was the music director at a catholic church all of my childhood. At the age of 4 on Christmas Eve, he had me sing "Go Tell It On A Mountain" and "Away in a Manger" during communion. We still have it on video. I was an excellent singer and showman at a very young age. This was my first time performing. I loved the applause and attention I got afterward and formed the belief that "what you do and how well you do it" defines you as a person. -
Kindergarten
Around this time I started kindergarten. I remember the first day. Some kids were crying and clung to their mothers and I thought, "what babies." I was used to being independent and was excited to start school. I did well academically, but was sometimes mischievous. Although I despised daycare, I always liked school. -
Move
We moved from one town to another. I was excited to move and liked our newer, bigger house. I wasn't nervous to start at a new school. I made friends very easily as a young child. -
First grade, new school
I started first grade at a new school. I remember having the jitters a little bit, but quickly made friends and adjusted to the new environment. I did very well in school and did not misbehave a lot at this age. -
Corporal Punishment
My parents spanked and used even more excessive force often. When my brother, sister, and I misbehaved for a babysitter, we were hit hard. If I talked back and went over the line, I was spanked. Shoes were thrown at us, and marks were left. My parents usually hit out of emotion, which is the worst kind of physical force. This made me a very angry child and I acted out worse because of it. This stopped when I was around 10 because I began hitting back and threatened to call 911. -
Dad reading to us
During early middle childhood, around the age of six, I remember my dad reading to my sister and me on a nightly basis. Both my sister and I read chapter books in the first grade, and never had problems learning new languages or with English. -
First boyfriend, first kiss
In second grade, I had my first "boyfriend," and we kissed on the playground. As a young child and up until my early twenties, it was easy for me to have boyfriends and I definitely like male attention. This was probably due to my dad's emotional absence. Although he read to us and taught us music, that was pretty much the extent of his parenting. -
Mean to my sister
Up until about age 12, I continued to be very mean to my sister, probably due to jealousy. I feel that I was more cruel to her than most siblings are to each other. My older brother defended my sister and was therefore mean to me. My mom also protected my sister and would get mad at me. My dad was indifferent, as usual. Many times I felt like the odd man out. -
Third grade
In third grade, I did very well academically. Behaviorally, however, I caused a lot of problems. I was very hyper and disruptive in class. I was in the principal's office a lot. I believe that a lot of this behavior was attention-seeking, but I was also very bored academically. I did not feel challenged. My teacher spoke with my parents frequently, and I got disciplined at home. -
Theatre
In third grade was when my parents enrolled me in theatre and acting classes. I wanted to be a Broadway actress as a child and was a very good performer. I did community theatre, and eventually got paid for professional productions. I was in several productions withThe Michigan Opera Theatre and was in Joseph With An Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. I also continued dance. I was a very busy child outside of school, but still excelled academically. -
Fourth Grade
Fourth grade was even a greater struggle behaviorally than third grade. My teacher spoke with my parents frequently and was convinced I had ADHD. She pushed my parents to put me on medication and take me to a counselor, but my parents were against medication. They did take me to a counselor who evaluated me and told them that I was a normal kid. -
Drinking and smoking
At the age of nine was when I smoked my first cigarette and drank my frst sip of alcohol. Some of the kids that I associated with were "good" kids, and some were "bad." I enjoyed the rush of doing something wrong. My parents weren't big drinkers, but they both were smokers when I was young. My mom also smoked when she was pregnant with me. There are social, biological, and behavioral factors at play. I didn't do this often until I was a teenager. -
Fighting
I was a tomboy in grades 2-5. I hung out with both boys and girls. I didn't bully people or get bullied, necessarily, but I did have physical fights with boys. Two boys in particular made fun of me because I was short, and when my returned insults weren't taken seriously, I resorted to physical violence. I even made boys cry. I always felt that I was as strong as boys were. My mother was very athletic and strong and was raised as a tomboy by my grandfather. I learned this behavior. -
Fifth Grade, age 10-11
My behavior problems continued through fifth grade. My academics were great, however, and I even won my school district spelling bee. In my school district, middle school started in sixth grade. At the end of fifth grade, my principal and teacher met with me and told me that they felt I wasn't ready emotionally to begin middle school. I remember crying and promised that I would be fine. My parents did not hold me back because of behavioral problems. -
Beginning middle school, age 11-12
I matured a lot between fifth and sixth grade. When I started middle school I began caring about what other kids thought of me. Therefore, most of my behavior problems stopped. I was a popular kid, and had to dress "fashionably." Middle school was the first time that I got "letter" grades, and I got all A's. I got one B+ at the end of sixth grade, and I felt like a complete failure. My parents did not push us to get good grades, yet we learned perfectionism from them. -
Period: to
Adolescence
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Middle School Complete, Moved to a New City
Around this time I finished middle school. I loved middle school, even more than high school. I had a ton of friends and was popular. I did well in school and didn't get into too much trouble during this time (or at least didn't get caught). Then my family and me moved to a different city this summer. I loved the new, bigger house, but was very sad to not be with my friends anymore. -
New High School, New School District
I started high school and was very scared about it. I only had one friend named Becky who is still one of my best friends today. I knew Becky from both church and from being in the same theatre shows together. We were both in a creative and performing arts program together, called CAPA. Being in CAPA helped me make a lot of friends, but I became very depressed my freshmen year of high school because I felt isolated and didn't feel like I fit in anywhere. -
Didn't Make CAPA Musical
Around the beginning of the school year is when CAPA auditioned for the big fall musical. It was West Side Story and I was so excited to be in it and to be recognized for my talent. However, I didn't even make the chorus! Almost no freshmen did, unless you were a boy because they needed more. I was very upset about this, as I had been in many professional productions. This was definitely a shot to my ego. -
Cheerleading
Since I didn't make the CAPA musical, I wanted to get involved more in something. I had always been good at sports, but didn't feel confident in my abilities to make the basketball team (I had played in middle school but definitely wasn't a star player). So I decided to try out for cheerleading since I had a big background in dance and gymnastics. Plus, I could be friends with the "popular" kids. Not only did I make it, but I skipped over the freshmen team and made it onto the JV team. -
Varsity
I did really well on cheerleading and in tumbling class. Around the end of freshman year were tryouts for the next school year. Due to my gymnastic ability and being a good "flyer," I made the varsity team. I was excited but nervous because I was intimidated of the older, more popular girls. -
Ear Surgery, Depression
By this time I had gone to cheerleading camp as we practiced all summer. It was fun, but I still didn't feel at ease socially. Then I had to get major ear surgery, for the second time (first was in 3rd grade but wasn't as significant). My ear drum had completely ruptured and I needed it reconstructed. Therefore, I had to sit out at cheerlading for six weeks! I still had to go to practice, though. I became very depressed after the surgery. -
Six Flags, Marijuana
Around this time I went to Six Flags with a big group of kids from my former city/school district. I LOVED being with them because I felt well liked and could be myself. Someone brought weed with them, and we smoked it in the woods. I absolutely loved the way it made me feel, and looked forward to doing it again. -
Therapy
I became more depressed than ever in the summer between my freshman and sophomore years. Part of it was the ear surgery because I couldn't be active. I began fighting with my mom more and more. I actually took a whole bottle of Motrin because I wanted to kill myself. I told my mom right away and we went to the hospital. This was more a cry for help. I started seeing a therapist. -
Drinking
I started using substances more, and me and some of my friends would even bring vodka to school in plastic water bottles. I loved being "bad," and felt way more accepted this way. Alcohol and marijuana calmed my nerves and medicated my depression. Although I did these things, I still maintained a 4.0 in school and performed well in extracurricular activities. -
Bad Boyfriend
I was attracted to a really big trouble-maker in my CAPA program. He smoked weed and cigarettes and was funny. A lot of people didn't like him because he was a screw-up. I, however, did because I liked feeling risky. We started dating, and I actually lost a lot of respect from a lot of people. I didn't care, though, because I felt more like myself and didn't feel depressed when I was with him. -
Bad Relationship Part 1
I started getting into trouble for missing curfews and cheerleading practice because of hanging out with my boyfriend and his friends. I didn't care, though, because we smoked a lot of weed and cigarettes. My family hated him and so did my close friends (I had made more and started feeling socially comfortable). I knew he was bad news but didn't want to give it up. I lost my virginity to him. -
Bad Relationship Part 2
I actually ended up becoming more depressed because my boyfriend became emotionally abusive. I would try to break up with him and he would threaten to kill himself, so I would go back. I think the drugs added to my depression. My therapist recommended a psychiatrist to my parents and I finally went on an antidepressant so that hopefully I could think clearer and get out of this despair. -
Relationship Over
I finally became strong enough to end the relationship. I think the medication helped because my mind was more clear. I felt a lot happier and felt close again with my friends. -
New boyfriend
A new kid came to our school. He was very nice, respectful, and good-looking. We immediately had a connection and started dating. My family liked him and his family. I even went on trips with his family up north to their cottage. He, however, had a bad side too. We began smoking cigarettes and weed together, too, but got away with it. -
Breaking In
I finally got in big trouble because when my boyfriends and his parents were out of town, me and some of my friends went to his house, and used the pool. We were permitted to do that, but we were not permitted to go into his house and drink from his parents' large alcohol supply. We got caught be a neighbor who was watching their house. Luckily, the police weren't called, but I got in huge trouble. My boyfriend was very mad at me, too, and this hurt our relationship. -
Beginning of Junior Year
My therapist recommended to my parents that I join a substance abuse program for teenagers. I did, but actually got into more trouble with the kids in the program. I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend because we no longer got along. Although I entered the substance abuse program, I did not feel that I had a drug problem. I still did well in school and extracurricular activities. I felt I smoked weed to self-medicate my depression. -
Lead in Musical
I was no longer in cheerleading because I wanted to focus on what I loved: theatre. I knew our school would be doing Les Miserables and that I had a high chance of landing a lead role. I paid my dues by doing smaller productions and my talent was now well know. I got the part of Fantine, and I was exhilarated. The musical was amazing, and I loved every bit of it. I continued the drug abuse counseling and passed my drug tests (although I found ways around failing). -
Hospitalized
I continued using substances and was getting worse and worse at getting away with it. My counselors told my parents that if they caught me with marijuana, they should call the police so I would have real consequences (since I wasn't really getting any via grades, etc.). My parents found pot in my room, and threatened to call the police. I then threatened to kill myself. Since I did that, my counselor told my parents to take me to a psychiatric hospital, and they did. -
Cousin Dies
After being hospitalized, I lost my lead role in the musical A Chorus Line because I had missed too many rehearsals. It really didn't upset me much because I didn't love the show like Les Mis. The first day back to school after being in the hospital, my mom picked me up from school. When I got in the car, my mom hung up her cell phone and told me that my closest cousin, Erika, had just died in a car accident. I was devastated. -
Growth Works
I continued to use drugs and was promiscuous with the boys in the outpatient program I was in. My counselor told my parents that this wasn't enough for me, and recommended me to an INTENSE outpatient program called Growth Works. Joining this program was very hard for me, as it was no-nonsense and very strict. The more defiant I was to the counselors, the tougher they got. The same was true for my mom. -
Running Away
I continued to use with friends in Growth Works, but we had to be very sneaky. The stricter everyone got, the more I rebelled. I ended up running away with some friends from Growth Works. I snuck out in the middle of the night. I was only gone for 3 days because I was going through awful withdrawal from my medications. I called my parents and they were advised to take me to the emergency room to get assessed. -
Boot Camp
Growth Works told my parents that I should go to boot camp so I could get a reality check. It was only for a couple of days, and I actually liked it because I was the only kid there that the drill sargeants couldn't "break." I was smart, and didn't talk back to them or fight them when they screamed in my face. I thought other kids who did that were stupid. I knew this was a short stay, so I did what I could to make it easy on myself. -
Senior Year, Giving In
I finally learned that I would have to stop smoking weed and acting out if I wanted to make life easier on myself. I did everything Growth Works and my parents said, and told myself I only had until May 6, 2004, the day I turned 18, to move out and do whatever I wanted. -
CAPA musical, Chorus
One of the consequences of my behavior was that I couldn't get a good role in the school musical because Growth Works met when rehearsals were going on. Therefore, I could only be in the chorus. This made me very sad, but luckily the play wasn't a good one like Les Mis was. -
Spring Musical
Ususally the spring musicals weren't as big of productions as the fall ones, but this year was not the case. In the spring of my senior year we put on The Little Shop of Horrors. Because I was doing well in Growth Works and not causing trouble, I didn't have to go to group therapy as much after school. This allowed me to be one of the leads in the show. I loved being in this show almost as much as Les Mis. -
18 and Moving Out
I knew in the back of my mind that the day I turned 18 I would move out of my house and quit Growth Works, and I did. One of my good friends, Marc, from my CAPA program (who wasn't a trouble maker) asked his mom to let me move into their basement, and she said yes. My parents were very sad, and I was a little too, but I couldn't stand being micromanaged anymore. -
Period: to
Emerging Adulthood
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High School Graduation, College Approaching
I graduated high school Summa Cum Laude, which surprised a lot of my peers because since I caused trouble they had no idea how smart I was. I was enrolled in Columbia College of Chicago for aMusical Theatre degree where I had a partial scholarship; I would pay the rest with student loans. I set this all up by myself with no help from my parents. -
Tumultuous Summer
Once I had unlimited freedom, I made more and more poor choices. I had 2 different boyfriends this summer with histories of drug abuse and legal charges. I progressed from just smoking weed to using cocaine. My parents cut off communication from me because they were advised to by Growth Works. They wouldn't talk to me unless I went to inpatient treatment. -
Chicago, For a couple of weeks
Luckily I stopped seeing unhealthy people and quit using cocaine after having a scary near-overdose. I moved into an apartment at my college and got a job as a hostess. I made from with kids from my school, most of whom were potheads. slowly realized that I did not have the means to take care of myself or pay for expenses. I did not want to go to treatment but knew that in order to go home I would have to. I called my mom to come and get me. She was very happy. -
Pia's Place
I ended up going to Prescott, Arizona, at a women's treament facility called Pia's Place. This was the best thing I ever did. I forgave myself for a lot of the things that I did and realized a lot of things about myself. While there, I actually got treated for an eating disorder, as that was what they felt was my core issue. I was unaware of this until now. They felt I used drugs to cope with my issues of low self-esteem. I had always been thin and excessively exercised. -
Coming Home
I was able to come home before Christmas. I had been at Pia's Place for 3 months and was actually very sad to leave. I had made true friends and felt good about myself there. I knew coming home would be an issue, and the counselors from Pia's Place advised me to move out as soon as possible as the relationship with my parents was toxic and made me unhealthy. -
Kicked Out
I got a job as a receptionist at a physical therapy office. I slowly earned money for a cell phone and a car. I got into a relationship with a healthy boy who was also staying sober. My parents found out and kicked me out of the house because Growth Works told them I shouldn't be in a relationship. I gladly moved out because this time I was prepared for real life and I had money to support myself. -
Wayne State
I got an apartment. Shortly after I started school at Wayne State for Theatre. It was hard working full time and going to school full time, but I did it. I maintained my sobriety and continued dating my boyfriend. -
Personal Trainer
I wanted to find a way that I could work less hours and make more money. From working at a physical therapy office and from getting treatment for my own back (gymnastics and dance had took a toll on my spine), I became very interested in the human body. I ran and worked out a lot, both because I liked to and I still cared a lot about my image. I decided to get my own study materials and become a personal trainer. -
Musicals
I finally was able to get involved in what I loved again, theatre. Since I had summer break from school, I joined a really good community theatre group and was the lead in Footloose and a straight acting play that was locally written. I LOVED performing so much and I made friends in the group. -
New Job
I passed my ACE Personal Trainer certification and landed a job at a high-end gym. I was nervous, but quickly gained clients and started making much more money than I did as a receptionist. -
Back to My Old Ways
From being around the theatre crowd again, I got tempted and started smoking weed again. This time, though, I didn't make it my life goal to become high. I never really felt like I was a drug addict and wanted to figure this out about myself since my life was going well. My boyfriend was very upset with me, but stayed with me anyways and maintained his sobriety. -
Breakup
My boyfriend and I had "taken a break," and then got back together. I thought we were doing very well, until one day he just broke up with me. I did not see it coming. I was devastated, but got through it. -
New Boyfriend
Very shortly after the breakup, I began dating a guy from work, who was actually my manager. We had been flirting even when I was with my boyfriend, but I never thought anything would come of it. On my 21st birthday, we went on a date and it was immediate love. He was a lot older than me, but I looked up to him and loved that I was dating a nice, rich "man" who could take care of me. -
Break From School
Being a personal trainer was a lot more work than I thought it would be. Although I made more money per hour, in order to do that I had to build and maintain a client base. I stopped attending Wayne State because I was unsure about my future. Although I wanted to be a Broadway star, I became more and more interested in th human body. While on my break from school, I decided to go back for physical therapy. -
Left the Gym
I became sick of all of the pressure that was put on me to "sell" at the gym. I just wanted to train people. Coupled with advice from my boyfriend, I decided to leave the gym and go out on my own. I took my clients with me and made more money on my own. -
Back to School
I went back to school, this time at Schoolcraft. I started taking prerequisites to get into the physical therapy program at Wayne State. -
Breakup #2
My relationship with my boyfriend started to go south in January. We fought about petty things, and he did not like conflict at all. I felt that he wanted things to be "rainbows and unicorns" all the time. We ended up breaking up. I was very sad about it, and continued to long for him for about 2 years. We got back together and broke up several times after that. -
Party Time
Around the age of 22 I began hanging out with my best friends from high school again. Most of them had graduated from college at this point and were moving home. I actually began liking being single. I partied a lot and loved being social. I still smoked weed occasionally and drank a lot but it seemed to be a normal thing for people my age. The years that were socially the best for me were between ages 22 and 24. -
Half Marathon
This day I ran my first half marathon. I was very proud of myself. However, school began suffering because I was so exhausted from work, school, and working out so much. I got mono and had to medically withdraw from school. -
Second half marathon
I ran my second half marathon. I was proud but I think I ended up with the flu this time and had to drop out of school again. Between partying, school, work, and working out too much, I wore myself out. -
Back to my old job
My client base started to dwindle and I needed more money to supplement my income. I decided to go back part time as a receptionist at my old physical therapy office. I worked there in the afternoons and trained people before and after work, as well as exercising a lot and going to school. -
Full Marathon
I ran my first full marathon, and was very proud of myself. However, school suffered again. This time I was too ashamed to try and get medical withdrawal, so I just stopped going to class. My GPA went from almost a 4.0 to just under a 3.0. I was extremely disappointed in myself and was scared to go back to school, so I stopped going for almost five years. When was I going to learn how to balance everything? -
New Boyfriend, Bad News
I had dated several guys but never got serious with anyone since my last boyfriend. I met a new guy at my cousin's wedding reception and it was "lust" at first site. He was a trouble maker, unlike my previous two serious boyfriends. He smoked weed daily, and I began falling into my old habits. My family did not approve of him. -
Breakup
I began to realize what a loser my boyfriend was, and broke up with him right before Christmas. It wasn't a hard breakup for either of us as I saw how much of a loser he was and he didn't have the capacity to feel emotions. -
Bad News
I heard from my recent ex-boyfriend at the end of January. He ended up causing a lot of trouble for me and I experienced a lot of traumatic events that I am not going to get into. I ended up having to file a restraining order against him. I became very depressed and started withdrawing from my friends. I also gained weight, which was unusual for me. Eventually I lost all of my personal training clientele, and was evicted from my apartment. -
25th Birthday
Around the time I turned 25, after I was evicted from my apartment, I moved into a house with a male I never met. I was referred to sublease with him from a former landlord that I respected. He was a nice guy and had a girlfriend, so there were no worries about my safety. 2 guys lived upstairs and I became friends wih them. I got out of my isolated depression phase and became social again with all of my friends. -
Period: to
Adulthood, 25-65
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Full Time
I needed to make more money, so I was rehired at the previous gym I worked at. I did well, so they wanted me back. When I went to put in my two weeks at the physical therapy office, they offered me a significant raise, a full time position, and full time benefits. I couldn't resist, so I chose the PT office over the gym. Finally I was becoming financially stable again. -
My Boyfriend, Matt
I continued to be social, and met Matt, who is still my current boyfriend. December 10, 2011, is when we became official. I was attracted to him because he was genuinely a good guy, much different than my previous boyfriend and some guys from my youth. My parents loved him and so did my friends. -
My 26th Birthday
My boyfriend threw me a surprise 26th birthday and a lot of people were there. It made me feel good, but deep down I felt unworthy. Even though I was with a good guy and had a lot of friends, I started to become depressed again. I also started gaining a lot of weight. -
Depression and Weight Gain
I began withdrawing from people again, including my boyfriend. I started seeing a therapist because I couldn't figure out why I wasn't doing the usual things I did, like exercise, eat healthy, and be social. I gained 40 pounds this year, because all I did was binge eat and drink by myself. I locked myself in my room. I was still successful at work, but people started to wonder why I looked different. I was diagnosed with PTSD and depression. -
Stomach Problems
Because I gained so much weight, was eating unhealthy, drinking, and smoking cigarettes, I began having horrible stomach pain. I got an EGD this day, and I was diagnosed with a hiatal hernia and GERD. I needed to change my habits, fast. -
Time to change
When I turned 27, I knew I needed to change. I was a smart, pretty girl with lots of potential and had a lot of people that cared about me. I found a new psychiatrist and therapist that helped me a lot. My meds were changed and I made subtle changes. I couldn't exercise anymore, though, because I had ignored my back problems for so long. I finally decided to see a surgeon about my back. -
Diagnosis
I was diagnosed with a severe herniated disc and a large cyst on my spinal chord. I was so used to pain and trauma throughout my life that I never showed anyone that I had back problems. I was very tough, so tough that I neglected to take care of myself. People in my personal life were stunned that I had such a bad back. Surgery was scheduled for 12/17/13. -
Physical Therapy
Fixing my back was part of my physical and mental transformation to becoming a happy, healthy person. I knew that if I got in shape and lost weight before surgery that my recovery would be that much better after. I went to physical therapy 3X a week and worked out hard. I asked my physical therapist to incorporate hard exercises to help me lose weight. -
Back Surgery
I had my back surgery, and my back was a lot worse than even the surgeon thought. My recovery was going to be rough. I was in the hospital for 4 days instead of 1, and I was in a lot of pain. I was determined to get back to normal as soon as possible and pushed myself in physical therapy at the hospital. -
Moving in with my boyfriend and his parents
My parents were going through a rough time and were actually separated due to my dad's addictions. There was no way I was going to stay with them while recovering. I wasn't allowed to climb stairs or anything, so I couldn't take care of myself. My boyfriend's parents are very nice people and offered to let me move in with them temporarily. I still had my apartment to move back into. -
Back to School
While in the hospital, I was very impressed by the nurses and nursing assistants. I asked one of the nursing assistants how she got the job, and she urged me to do the same. I enrolled at Schoolcraft's Nurse Aide program, only a few weeks after my surgery. In hindsight that wasn't pretty smart, but I wasn't allowed to return to work and I wanted a job that I liked. I was way overqualified for my current position. -
Nursing Assistant
I completed the CNA program, and began applying for jobs. I was going to physical therapy for my back, too. I continued losing weight. I had several job interviews and my future looked hopeful. -
Moving Out, New Job
I moved out of my house with my roommate at the end of April because I ran out of money from my disabillity at the PT office. I stayed with my boyfriend and his parents and got a storage unit for my stuff. I also quit my job at the PT office because I got hired by the Univeristy of Michigan hospital on a cardiac floor. I was very excited and proud of myself. I put my time of recovery into good use. -
Getting Fired
The job as a patient care technician turned out to be very difficult and demanding. I knew I would have to work hard to keep this job. I made a lot of improvements, but the manager on my unit did not like me. She actually accused me of being under the influence, which is so ironic because I was the most mentally stable I had ever been and wasn't using anything. She fired me and I was under no protection because I was still in the probationary period. I was devastated. I had worked so hard. -
Moving Back in With the Parents
During all of this, my parents were moving 3 hours away, and they had been keeping my cat with them as my boyfriend's parents would not let him in their house. Had they let me have him there, I would have stayed living with them. Therefore, I had to move in with my parents, 3 hours away from my friends and boyfriend. -
My sister's marriage
My sister lives in Boston and got married there. My boyfriend and I made a trip out of it and had a great time. Our relationship had been suffering a but because of conflicts between me and his parents. I couldn't stand how much they babied me AND him, and I felt they enabled him too much to live there. This trip was good for us. -
New Job, far away
I decided to look for jobs in my new town because I didn't have the means to live on my own in my former one. I would not live without my cat, so I could not move back in with my boyfriend. I got hired at a very reputable hospital, even better than U of M. I told my boyfriend that I would put a year in and then move back there after finding a new job. -
New Job
This day I started my new job. I did a very good job at working this time because I knew what to expect. My coworkers, on the other hand, were very difficult to deal with. A lot of nurses are miserable, unfortunately, from over working. I also feel that negativity breeds negativity. Eventually I got other to trust me and gained respect at work. -
Fight
My boyfriend and I still weren't doing very well. This past year had been difficult between my back surgery, living with him and his parents, and then moving three hours away. When I was home visiting, we got into a very volatile fight like we never had before. We almost broke up. I gave him an ultimatum to see a therapist or I would break up with him. -
Back to School, Healthy Again
The relationship between my boyfriend and I improved drastically, and we were back to the way we were. I decided to start taking online classes, as I only had one more to get into a nursing program. School and work were rough, but I managed it. Through all of this, I had lost all of the weight I had gained and returned to my previous size. I made so many improvements this past year. -
Spring Semester
Although I am taking 2 classes at another college, I enrolled at Schoolcraft to take the Developmental Psych class because it can be done online. This was one of the classes in the semester that I just stopped going to school, so I got a zero. This will help me raise my Schoolcraft GPA for future college plans. This class is also required for nursing. -
Today I am Happy
Although I have had a crazy life, I am very proud of where I am today. I am the most mentally stable I have ever been. I exercise a healthy amount and do yoga. I am highly praised at my job and received a big raise. I am doing well in school. I am busy, but because I don't party anymore and can drink in moderation (and don't smoke pot), I don't burn the candle at both ends. I practice self care and still see a therapist and psychiatrist. -
Nursing School
This is when I will start nursing school. I switched from physical therapy to nursing because after becoming a nurse, I can become a Nurse Practitioner, or even a Doctor. I am smart and have a lot of potential, and I am destined to do something good in life. I also want to have my own patient load and be a primary care provider. -
Associate Degree
This is when I will get my associate degree in Nursing. I already have taken most of the classes to do the RN to BSN program at many different colleges. This is when I will get a job as a nurse and will take online classes to get my BSN. I know a lot of nurses right now that are doing this. -
Marriage
This is the summer that my boyfriend and I want to get married. I will have a well paying job as an RN, and he will be getting his associate degree in nursing at this time. We can get married and start toraise a family. -
Bachelor Degree
By this time I should receive my Bachelor's Degree in Nursing. Once this is completed, I will have moved back to my hometown near my boyfriend and have gotten a job there. Then I will complete a Chemistry degree as I have a lot of classes for that major and would have a better chance of getting into medical school. -
Chemistry Degree, MCAT, Medical School
By this time I should have completed a chemistry degree. I will have taken the MCAT and will start applying to medical school. If I don't end up going to med school, I will definitely go to school to be a nurse practitioner. -
Children
This is when I would want to start trying for children. I would be 33-34, which to me is a perfect time to have kids. I would want 2 kids, as would my boyfriend. I don't think I would want to get pregnant after 38 as the risks of complications become higher. -
Med School or Nurse Practitioner School
This is when I will start either medical school or nurse practitioner school. Although I am trying to conceive, I know that I can go to school and raise a child. At this point I would stop working or only work 1-2 days a week as I'd be busy with school and possibly a child. My husband would be the bread winner.I know it sounds crazy to go to graduate school and raise a family but my life has been crazy thus far and I can handle a lot, as I am doing now. -
Done with School
At this point I'd be finished with either medical or nurse practitioner school. I'd be a resident if I went to med school, and would make some money. Or I would get a job as a nurse practitioner. By this time I'd have at least one child and if I didn't have 2, I would try to have another one within the next year. -
39 with two kids
By this point I will have had 2 children, and if not I'd be happy with 1 or we would adopt. I would continue working full time as would my husband, and my kids would go to a reputable preschool. -
Retirement
Around this time is when I would start thinking about retirement, although I see myself working into my seventies since I am a workaholic. My kids would be in their early to mid-twenties and would have graduated from high school and college. We would have taken many family vacations to great places. My husband and I would have an empty nest and would begin going on our own awesome vacations. -
Period: to
Late Adulthood and Year of Predicted Death
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Moving Into Assisted Living
Around the age of 90 is when I will probably move into an assisted living place. My husband will have probably died by then (statistics and mental toughness) and I may need some light assistance and a bigger social network. I still see myself being active and witty, as I am very stubborn and I don't let age or disability bring me down (as my younger years have shown me). -
Death
I truly believe that I will live until 100. My great-grandmother lived until 99 and I am very much like her. I don't think I am scared of death, but I want to see what will happen with our world in the coming generations. I don't believe in ageist stereotypes and I feel that my life will have meaning as an elderly person.