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Birth
I was born in India -
Met the Sharmas
Met Chirag, who would become my "best friend" for many years simply because our parents hung out a lot. We'd frequently visit each others' houses, and we went to day camp together. I don't think he really liked me that much. We eventually grew apart, but since our parents are still friends we still see each other occasionally (we live in different states). -
Moved to America
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Expelled from many preschools
Mixture of behavior issues and not knowing English -
Kicked from Kindergarten to Young 5s
This held me back an entire year for the rest of my schooling. -
My sister was born
She was born in America. Our relationship has been tumultuous. Since my parents beat me, I thought it was an appropriate way to take out anger, so I would hit her when I was young, which to this day I will not forgive myself for. I even threw a golf ball at her once. I used to be dominant. It's improved a lot since then and the dynamic has inverted basically, but we are not vulnerable, expressive with emotion, or affectionate with each other at all. -
Enrolled in private Catholic school
Parents were not Catholics. They believed that a private school would "discipline me" for behavior issues. I was the only non-white in the entire school. -
Most traumatic event, dad burned elephant
My dad burned my favorite stuffed elephant that I was super attached to because I broke my glasses after he locked me in the closet. Kids with autism get especially attached to objects. This was basically my favorite thing in the whole world. My mouse cursor on my computer is an image of that elephant. It also turned into a lifelong obsession with elephants. For an essay I wrote about this: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1euToMPTKOhPRIVot-Cdn2DmXAAKFoYQOS-PQcb8X4qc/edit?usp=sharing -
Made my first school friend
Saw this friend very frequently, though usually, I initiated. We stayed at each others' houses and played RISK through the night like every weekend. The only friend I hung out with. But he wasn't as interested in the friendship as I was and we grew apart. -
Moved and re-enrolled in public school
4th grade. Was bullied heavily by peers Desperately tried to fit make friends. Hung out with the wrong crowd that only bullied me. -
Placed in "gifted" program and advanced math
These people didn't really bully me. These are the people I would see every day through high school. -
Counselor thinks I will become a school shooter
I had crossed out faces of people who bullied me in my school yearbook, and apparently I was "calmed by the sight of blood". What really happened was I had an infection on my earlobe and when I peeled off dead skin it made it feel better, but apparently that was enough to trigger a whole meeting with my parents and everything. Granted, there were definitely people I didn't like, but even at that stage I doubt I would've shot them. I did envision shooting my parents sometimes though... -
Dad (kinda) stopped with the physical abuse
He promised my mom to stop physical abuse (hanging me from the loft, throwing me across the room, throwing dishes at me, kicking me, choking me, slamming me into the ground, slamming me into walls, forcing humongous chunks of food in my mouth because I wasn't eating fast enough, etc). But verbal abuse continued, including saying I would amount to nothing, accusing me of not caring about him (not entirely wrong), etc. -
Had my first (probably only) crush
Lasted for four years. Never confessed. Instead kept starting arguments with her over politics and religion because I couldn't express myself appropriately. -
Started high school
School started at 7:30 am. The bus came at 6:30. Had to wake up at 5:30, struggled immensely. Met nicer people. -
First job
At Kroger. Was super overzealous and got on everybody's nerves by trying to police them. I also took way too much initiative. But I did get promoted really fast for my "really good work ethic". Managers loved me. People kept stabbing me with their hands in my sides, causing me to eventually always protect my sides when someone approached. Took years to get rid of the response. -
Second job
At Best Buy as a computer sales consultant. Lasted three years. Definitely grew a lot interacting with other people (was very socially awkward at first). Also wasn't good at following rules, which irked managers, but my performance was really good. Thought I made friends, but most employees hung out with each other and didn't want anything to do with me. Did keep one lasting friendship from there though, Josh Blackwell. -
Started college
Had wanted to be an astrophysicist my ENTIRE life. Was super obsessed with space, knew the distance of every planet from the Sun when I was 6. At the last second, I changed my mind and went to my backup university because I decided it would be too hard to find a job as an astrophysicist and pursued computer science instead at Wright State University. -
Met my first college friends
Our schedules were decided for us for the first semester. I shared a lot of classes with Brady Feltner and Lucas Gauldin. Brady was extraverted, had many friends. At first, it was just us, but I started being excluded as he made other friends. Barely talk anymore. Lucas is super introverted, but we got lunch every day and hung out a lot until he graduated. Now I rarely see him and he rarely replies to messages (that's just his personality). We share all common interests and personality traits. -
Met my friend Aaron
We shared some classes. We are still friends today, and he is an absolutely amazing friend. One time I did something stupid with my car and I called him broken down on the road. He took me to my phone repair job at a house, then drove me to Columbus to pick up a part for my car, all at a moment's notice. He now is very self-isolating and depressed and drinks and vapes too much, and I am very concerned about him. I see him almost weekly, but I always initiate as he barely talks to anyone. -
Met my "best friend"
Met another autistic person, Christopher Russell, in one of my classes. We started talking and he was the first person I started hanging out with outside normal school hours, even driving 30 min from home to do so. We shared common interests and were really different, texted every day, and were really close. -
Met Chris' mutual friend
Met to-date one of my closest friends Amelia (Mia) Whorton, who used to date Chris. AMia has cerebral palsy, and Chris also continued to be her personal assistant. She also still had feelings for him and believed him to as well (important for later, I promise). -
Started internship
At Ohio Gravure Technologies (OGT). The mother of my high school "crush" found me working at Best Buy and sent my resume to her boss, so I got an internship way before most people are able to. I switched to "occasional/seasonal" status at Best Buy and continued to work both jobs, internship being primary. -
Met Chloe and Tori
This is where my friendship issues, lack of social awareness and emotional growth, and insecurity really started to play out. I started Spanish minor, and in my Spanish class sat next to two social workers, who I told I already knew Spanish and we exchanged numbers for studying. Chloe and Tory seemed to hit it right off and started partying at clubs within a couple of days. -
Depression was suggested
The Sharmas came over and I admitted to Chirag that I didn't really enjoy anything anymore and he suggested I had depression, which I laughed/scoffed at. -
Took classes with Chloe and Tori because I was lonely
I asked for their schedules and took a class I didn't really need with them. There is a lot that happened during this time but it was a heavy topic during my previous therapy sessions, so I'm not elaborating fully here. -
Broke Tori's laptop, bought her another
I, for whatever reason, wanted to make her laptop faster. So I bought and installed an SSD (I paid for it but didn't tell anyone), but her screen stopped working. So I bought her another really expensive one. I have a tendency to splurge on my friends but pretend I don't actually have to spend money. I'll frequently lie that something was free for me so that they don't think I spent money on it. -
Confessed my loneliness to Chloe, she told me to get therapy
This made me feel closer to her because she helped me in my low point, which really messed with my emotions. I am also frequently jealous of how Chloe and Tori are a lot closer and call each other best friend, and this causes issues throughout. She also got me on Facebook, which was an awful idea (previously I didn't use social media much). I am unsure whether I had "feelings" for her, and this became an issue for me due to my lack of emotional awareness. -
Diagnosed with depression
Received a diagnosis of depression. My parents were not understanding. My mom tried to force herself into my appointments, and my dad just yelled at me like something was wrong with me. -
Moved into apartment with mother
My dad's job moved to North Carolina. My sister and dad moved there. My mom stayed back with me in an apartment for a year. Our neighbor had a cat that sat outdoors and I would always go pet it and instantly feel so much better, like my mood would lift from zero energy and feeling horrible to suddenly feeling okay. -
Introduced Tori to Chris. Terrible idea. Horrible night ensued.
Chris is a misogynist and abusive. He lead Tori on to believe he liked her. Then he had sex with her (just to "prove he could"), then had sex with Mia later that same night. The next day he told Tori he didn't actually like her, then told Mia the same. So, excuse the language, but he fucked two girls and broke two hearts that night. I didn't even know everything at the time. Later I discovered further abuse (like him taking Mia's phone constantly), so I broke off the friendship. -
Tori blocks me
She meets some random criminal way older than her in a psychiatric hospital and marries him three weeks later. She has her own issues. Blocks everyone from her life, including me. Very painful. -
Seasonal employment at Best Buy terminated
New general manager was not the nicest, didn't like us "freeloading" seasonal employees, purged us all. -
Went offroading and broke my car
Did one of my stupid impulsive things and took my car offroading. Sank it into deep mud. Destroyed an axle. Later started messing around and making all sorts of stupid modifications to it (how I initially got into debt). I drilled a hole into my transmission. Needed a new transmission, when the dealership called my dad he was pissed. -
Fired from internship
Wasn't good with attendance or communication. When I broke my car's transmission, couldn't come in. When Gaurav left, was fired. -
Got job fixing phone screens
At Midwest Technical Broadband (contractor for Asurion). Got an independent contracting job driving to people's houses and fixing their phone screens. Paid pretty well, but there were expenses and too many opportunities to spend more on my car. Drove about 1,000 miles per week. -
Went on field trip
Was in a class called Civil Rights Pilgrimage with Chloe. Went on a field trip, had a big fight there, and our friendship was basically over. Was in a lot of pain for many months. At this point, I really miss her children more than her. -
Parents helped me pay off debt
Now I owe them a bunch of money, and I managed to get my debt all the way back up again. Every time I come close to paying it off, I splurge. -
Reconnected with Chris
Rocky relationship as I keep finding out things he's done/is doing. We are not very close anymore. -
Moved into a dorm
Didn't like it too much but enjoyed the freedom -
Bought another car
As a "backup car", since my other car had so many issues (all of which were my fault) and I needed a working car for my job. Plus I wanted a stick shift. Best purchase I've ever made. Fallen in love with the car, but it also became a major money pit. -
Aaron convinces me to get drunk
Didn't do anything for me, didn't make me feel better. Convinced me to also try a Juul, which also didn't do anything. At least I know alcoholism and substance abuse likely won't be problems (which is why I had avoided drinking in the past). I still don't drink though. I am concerned about him. He's broken all his own rules on drinking. Once I walked into his place and there were six empty bottles of alcohol. But I don't know how to approach this issue effectively or compassionately with him. -
Got (current) job as software engineer
At Cornerstone Research Group. Boss has been super understanding. I love this company and my boss. -
Moved in with my parents for the summer
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Moved into (current) university apartment
Most freedom I've ever had, I love it. Was on my own until this semester (for a year). -
Tried to kill myself
I'd been in school for too long, was struggling in all my classes and doing horribly in Physics 2. Tried to drink bleach. Voluntarily went to the hospital the next day after Mia convinced me. Stayed there for 9 days. Met new friend Colleen/Valeri. Very little bleach made it down and I wasn't fully committed. I still question whether it counts as a legitimate suicide attempt. Also met Michael, who I really liked, but who ended up ghosting me randomly. Aaron picked me up after the hospital. -
Colored my hair
My new friend Colleen/Valeri helped me color my hair. -
Mia calls the cops on me
I tend to overshare my thoughts. Maybe I am vying for attention, IDK. I told her I counted all the pills I have. I end up in the hospital a second time, involuntarily. But I am released the same day. -
Got a cat
My therapist (Jody) and psychiatrist (Georgia) signed the necessary paperwork to allow me to have an "emotional support animal". She is the joy of my life. -
Colleen/Valeri ghosted me
She has her own issues but she basically stopped talking to me (other than random social media comments) for several months until I reached back out again after she changed her name. It was very painful for a while as I thought she didn't want to be my friend anymore. But she has depression too and can isolate herself sometimes. We are still talking now, for which I am grateful. There have been periods of silence but I know she's struggling too. I'm hopeful for the future of our friendship. -
Mia says I can't give her gifts anymore
I've given various things to Mia over the years, many of which I made by hand. She has lost a substantial number of things, and after I chastised her for it, she said she would no longer accept gifts from me. This makes me extremely sad because, as I said before, I really like being generous with my friends and it's one of the only ways I know how to show affection. If I think about it too long it gives me a depressive episode. -
My family is visiting
First time visiting and seeing my apartment (I've visited them many times). They will probably be mad about all the purchases I've made recently.
