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I was born today! I am 7lbs 6oz. I was born lifeless and had to be resuscitated. It scared the life out of my mom and dad, who were new parents and tried for three years to have me! I was born at Chilton Memorial Hospital in New Jersey.
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I was diagnosed with a tumor on my eye. My eyesight was at stake, but my mom got me to the right doctors and patched my good eye, forcing me to use my bad eye. My eyesight was pretty much saved, but the tumor just shrunk and still affected my eyesight a little bit.
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My brother, Nick, was born today. I was unsure how to feel as I was an only child and like the attention!
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I was in preschool at West Milford Preschool. My teachers said that I was quiet and didn't talk to others much, but was excelling in my studies!
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I attended Apshawa Elementary School for kindergarten through sixth grade. I had a lot of friends and enjoyed school. I scored very high on state tests, well above average. I also was in gifted and talented art classes and played saxophone and snare drum. I played a lot of sports since my mom always played sports, even into college. I love school.
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My Uncle Randy passed away on this day from Hodgkins-Lymphoma. He was always in pain but was the sweetest and most gracious man and let my brother and I climb all over him even through the pain. My mom cried a lot and got frustrated because we did not understand the permanence of death.
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A boy that is a year above me in school committed suicide. The community was devastated, along with my mom, who is friends with the boy's mom. His death affected the community heavily and everyone was in mourning.
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I go to Shallotte Middle School. This school is VERY different from the ones back in New Jersey. I get tested late and am placed into advanced classes in the middle of my first year which leaves me far behind everyone else and very confused. I am also being severely bullied. I have started self-harming and girls from school are telling me to kill myself through fake profiles on social media. I am suicidal. The only times I feel safe and happy are in my English classes and when playing soccer.
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We moved to Ocean Isle Beach, North Carolina from New Jersey because that was where my Poppy (grandpa) and his wife lived. I am not a fan of the beach and missed my grandma so much since she was in New Jersey and was the person I loved and looked up to the most. Grandma had also been sick so I was worried about leaving her. I was nervous about starting at a new school...plus it will be middle school, so it is a big change.
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I was in 8th grade. I had my first boyfriend. We spent a lot of time together and it was nice to have someone to talk to. He became increasingly rough, getting to the point that I had bruises on me and he hurts me in front of others. A girl noticed and reported it but I denied it because I didn't want him to get into trouble. My English teacher noticed me becoming reclusive and not paying attention. She introduced me to poetry to release my hurt and gets me the help I need to leave my boyfriend.
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I am doing okay, but am hanging out with a bad crowd. My grades are great but my science teacher goes on maternity leave and we have a sub all semester who knows nothing about science and just gives us workbooks. I don't understand anything either and receive my first D ever. I pass to the next grade but am still hanging out with a bad crowd. I am still playing sports but am starting to hate them. I start out freshman year with anorexia and go throughout sophomore year struggling with bulimia.
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I break away from the bad crowd and become more independent. I am in youth group at a large church and finally, find myself and feel better off alone than with others who are a bad influence. I join cross country and leave all other sports since cross country is more independent and I can push myself and work on myself instead of focusing on a team. I am in honors and AP classes and crushing it. I become friends with Nahisha and we spend all our time together.
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My boyfriend, Silas, got drunk and fell into the Shallotte River at a party that I was not attending. I got a call the next morning that his body was found in the river. The whole entire school was in mourning and I had to attend counseling, along with many others. Grief counseling was provided by the schools.
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My grandma passed from diabetes, kidney failure, and dysentery. We had to quarantine in order to see her and it was SO hard. I was not there when she passed and it killed me.
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In a bid to get away from my hometown, I left as soon as high school ends. I started at Meredith College for undergrad in the business program which is highly renowned. I realized business is not for me and got really into activism, politics, and writing, and decided I didn't want to do business anymore. I felt restricted at Meredith because it was all-girls and had very strict rules on where I could live, when I could leave campus (curfew), and when I could have boys over, which I did not like.
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I graduated with a 4.6 GPA and a bunch of college credits. I also won awards for earning the highest grades in Spanish class and Horticulture class, along with being the vice president of our FFA chapter.
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I transferred from Meredith College to NC State into the MSL program. I loved it at State and worked at the bookstore. I was in a few clubs and enjoyed my classes, but felt discouraged because everyone was telling me teaching is not worth it and I should do something else. I decided to switch my major to Communication Studies, with a focus on public relations and journalism after taking a journalism class and loving it.
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My Poppy died and I was there this time for it, although I was late and he was already in a coma. I had to come home from school for it and return home for his memorial. I spoke at his memorial with a poem about my memories with him.
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I meet Bailey and we start dating. We have a lot of fun together and he is very supportive of me. It is my first real, healthy relationship.
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I started in the Communication program and very much enjoyed it. I had big ambitions and wanted to work in PR or at a newspaper/magazine. I loved journalism classes the most and my professors loved me. I was doing amazing in school and had an internship with ARTS NC State working on their website, reviewing shows, interviewing performers, and boosting their social media content. I was very happy but had a hard time finding a job for post-grad in what I want to do, so I stayed at the bookstore.
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I moved to Smithfield in order to live with my boyfriend in our first home. It was a big change and hard to commute almost an hour to and from school every day, along with working and doing an internship.
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I graduated from NC State Cum Laude with my BA in Interpersonal, Organizational, and Rhetorical Communication Studies. I only attended the departmental and celebrated with my family!
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I worked at the NC State Bookstore post-grad as a manager at the Centennial location. I decided I needed a back-up plan and didn't want to work here forever. and I hated the hour-plus commute to and from work, so I decided to apply to graduate school to go back and become a teacher since I can do that anywhere, especially close to home, and think I would enjoy it.
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We got our Shih Tzu and Poodle mix, Archie. He brought a lot of joy into our lives and helped my anxiety a lot since Bailey worked night shift and I was home alone a lot.
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I started graduate school and am enjoying it, but it is hard to juggle my classes with the pandemic, working, and wedding planning. I am finding my love for writing again though, which is great.
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I worked at the NC State Bookstore managing the Centennial location and was laid off once students left campus due to COVID. It was very painful since I worked there for four years and was just starting to get my bearings working full-time.
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Bailey proposed to me in our backyard when we had a fire. It was very romantic and from here, hardcore wedding planning began!
