-
EVENT – Parents Divorced
At the time, it barely affected me (perhaps I wasn't aware of any effects since I was so young). I didn't exhibit any signs of poor mental health in therapy and moved on quickly. I didn't recognize its effects until when I recently realised that the emotional absence of my father (if I dwell on it) made me want his approval/investment in my life. This event may have resulted in a small void/longing in my life, but I'm unsure if it affects my relationship with God, the ultimate father figure. -
EVENT – Cooking and watching Masterchef/cooking shows with my helper
When I was young, I would often watch cooking shows with my helper. This has impacted me by introducing me to the science of cooking, different culinary styles, and the diversity of delicious dishes that could be made. Also, I would watch my helper cook in the kitchen. All this made me supremely interested in learning how to cook, nutrition, and food chemistry. It helped shape my interest in chemistry and biology, affected the school courses I chose, and the hobbies I invest my time in. -
EVENT – Getting lost in Seoul with my grandma
My mom left me and my grandma in a fast-food restaurant in Seoul to finish eating while she and my brother went out. When we went downstairs, we couldn't find my mom nor my brother. I proceeded to panic and got lost. Somehow, we retraced our steps back to the restaurant. Apparently my brother had been waiting downstairs for us all along. I learned that sometimes we can inexplicably miss things, to be more patient and think before acting, and perhaps to trust that God will bring me back home. -
PEOPLE – Mom
Seeing the time, effort, and energy she spends in her work and in our wellbeing led me to become self-motivated. She is a good role model for my own life in work; because of her being an example for me to follow, as well as in order to make life easier for her, I motivate myself to strive for excellence in academics and to make full use of the time I spend honing skills in other areas of life. -
PEOPLE – 7th Grade FG Teacher
This teacher allowed me the space to ask hard questions and expand my worldview. She didn't get mad at me when I (possibly insensitively) asked her questions about her views on controversial topics, and she encouraged critical thinking. I was able to explore different opinions and POVs and make up my own mind, a bit more protected from raging internet discourse. Also, she opened my mind to difficult subjects, such as reconciling Christianity and queerness, increasing my awareness and empathy. -
PEOPLE – First "boyfriend"
Does middle school dating count? Regardless, my relationship with him taught me the importance of good, clear communication. I broke up with him over a misunderstanding and I wish I had asked him about it first, rather than relying solely on second-hand information. I also learned that relationships and romantic attraction can change a friendship forever. I wish we had kept in touch afterwards and remained friends, as he was an important person to me. -
EVENT – Discovering Tumblr posts on Pinterest
Say what you will about Tumblr SJWs, being introduced to social issues in this manner had a massive long-term impact on my political views and the way I treat others. Without this, I may have stayed in my bubble of ignorance and not gained an interest in politics or social issues. Overall, I gained an understanding of and empathy for foreign types of people in foreign environments. Without this, I would never have wanted to learn about people I don't see in my daily life. -
EVENT – Fight with close friend
As a result of my oblivious insensitivity, I had a long fight with a friend of mine. To paraphrase, after being given the cold shoulder and ultimatums given through mutual friends, I confronted her and we slowly made up. However, this experience made me much more insecure in my friendships, since I had no idea what was going on during the entire ordeal. I became afraid that I would hurt someone and they would leave me, and I wouldn't even realise. -
PEOPLE – Grandma
My grandma's not a bad person, but for the sake of this assignment, I'll focus on one trait of hers: stubbornness. Hearing her argue with other members of my family has taught me that there's a point when arguing back or reasserting your position will do more harm than good. This impacted me to be more pragmatic, to assess situations and people better, and to know when to speak up and when to stay silent. -
EVENT — Being added to a Discord server
So I was somewhat-arbitrarily added to a small Discord server with this guy and his best friends. I didn't know any of them well at all, but over the course of more than 2 years, I've gotten to know them better and become friends. In the process, I learned to be open about myself to myself and others. They're very different people than what my usual crowd was, so my personality has changed to become more carefree and I've learned to be more accepting and less judgemental. -
EVENT – Discovered HEMA
A HEMA video appeared in my YouTube recommendations, which got me interested in medieval swordfighting. My mom noticed this and signed me up for fencing classes over the summer. I was hooked and enjoyed fencing immensely, more so than any other sport I had tried. Fencing has improved my quick-thinking and strategic capabilities, as well as physical fitness. Also, it allowed me a safe place to fail and improve upon myself. I now have a healthier relationship with failure and competition. -
PEOPLE – Close Friend
This friend of mine is really confident (borderline arrogant) and can detach herself easily from things. In this regard, I'm very different from her: I can be really insecure and oftentimes care much more than I rationally want to. She's influenced me to become more secure and confident in my abilities and relationships. I've also learned to better balance being caring and leaving when enough is enough. -
PEOPLE – Science Teacher
This science teacher and I had strong disagreements about how he taught, specifically the definitions of certain scientific terms, the validity of faith as a basis of one's belief, and the relationship between God and science. I came out of the whole experience disillusioned with the ideals of debate, but realising that people had fundamentally different epistemological foundations which can't be changed instantly. I learned to focus more on learning and listening, rather than proving a point. -
PEOPLE — @cattey the anonymous Discord user on a Flat Earth server READ --> I was debating in a Flat Earth discord server when it started turning ugly. Another Globe Earther, @cattey, pmed me and we had a conversation about flat earthers & changing minds.
He gave me feedback on how I conducted myself. I finally accepted that I wasn't responsible for enlightening everyone—it was impossible to change everyone's minds. Additionally, because of him and others I slowly divorced myself from the "facts don't care about your feelings" idea. I realised how intertwined belief, kindness, & emotion are. I learned to be more self-aware, to rebuke people more kindly, and to try not to accidentally embarrass someone I was trying to convince of something/teach. -
PEOPLE – Some friends
These friends helped me learn to take care of myself and pay attention to my own needs as well. In the past, I would internalise my problems instead of really being open/serious about them, since I felt like a burden. I perceived my value as determined by however much I could help others. However, these friends allowed me to be more comfortable sharing and helped me set a better balance between selflessness and self-care in my life. -
PEOPLE – Second boyfriend
I learned the importance of judging your time investments and priorities before committing to things that require a lot of time and energy. I was much busier than he was and unfortunately, our visions for a relationship weren't the same. I learned to figure out my goals and be more serious about what a relationship entailed, and am now more discerning. Also, I learned how to stay friends with your ex, which is really important. -
PEOPLE — Close friend
This person shared her testimony with me after I expressed interest in becoming a Christian. Her testimony had such a great impact on me; never before had I heard so much love and reverence in her voice. What she told me, and what we talked about in the months go come, really helped me get closer to faith and learn more about the value of being in a relationship with God. This is something that's stuck with me and pushed me to even more seriously consider Christianity. -
EVENT — Reading self-help/care internet posts READ --> This wasn't one specific moment or singular event, but a timespan when I found and read through a lot of people's posts on things their therapists said that helped them and changed their mindsets.
For example, one thing that really helped me get out of spiralling and being so critical of myself was talking to myself gently like one does to a child. I found that getting rid of negative self-talk and having a kinder head voice really helped me end my catastrophic thinking and deal with mistakes/failure much better. Another one is doing neutral thinking: the objectivity of it doesn't seem fake like positive thinking can. I became much mentally healthier with healthier coping mechanisms. -
EVENT – Watching Contrapoints "Transtrenders" READ --> This video helped crack at a tenet I had long accepted: that you must have a scientific explanation for something to be true or worth valuing.
Realising that mental illness is defined by society and not by "science", that there wasn't really a scientific explanation for trans and NB people existing—and yet that doesn't affect how they should be treated—really shook me. It also changed how I thought about faith and belief; I could have a different approach to why I should become a Christian. Funny how a video about the validity of trans and NB identities seemed to have helped me move closer to God. -
EVENT – Vida
In Vida, I had 2 days worth of time to spend with God and people with their kind hearts on full blast. I felt so much love—perhaps God's love—through others. I was able to unpack something I had carried with me for so long. I further accepted the possibility of faith and personal experience in determining belief. I let go of my worry of never figuring out what was right. I don't think I'll ever be certain, but I can open up to God regardless and let myself try.