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Prenatal Influences That Could Impact Development
My mom continued to smoke when she was pregnant with me. Smoking during pregnancy can lead to low birth weight; I was barely six pounds at birth. My mom also developed pneumonia a week before giving birth to me. I was very sick when I was born and was taken from my mother immediately after she gave birth and placed in the NICU. -
Birth to Age Two
Stranger Anxiety: Not only was I an extremely shy toddler, I had such a fear of men that my parents couldn't have any male company over to the house other than my pop. I was very attached to my mother; I didn't want to be around anyone else. Sensorimotor Stage: I was very successful at this stage. I was walking without help before the age of one and I was speaking in complete sentences before 15 months of age. I attribute this success to my mother who read to me all the time. -
Ages Two Through Five: And Then There Were Three
The birth of my younger sister. I was no longer the baby. I didn't have a word to describe it then but jealousy reared its ugly head. I began to act out and throw tantrums; anything to get my mother's attention. -
Ages Two Through Five: Moving to a New House
My family moved to a new neighborhood and I was the new kid, always picked on and bullied. This was the beginning of "introverted me." My mother had to literally push me to go outside and play as I would much rather stay in the house with her. I guess you can say that I failed Erickson's Initiative vs. Guilt task. -
Ages 2 Through 5: Kindergarten
Going to school was a tramatizing event for me. I was very introverted and didn't want to be around people I didn't know - - adults and children alike. I spent most of the time at school playing and reading by myself and resisted my teacher's attempts to intergrate me with the other children. I could already read and write when I entered kindergarten and I couldn't understand why I had to be there. -
Ages Five through Twelve: Here Comes Miss Goody Two-Shoes
I started at a new school and was academically successful. I sought out and received my teacher's approval which was very important to me. You could say that I was successful at Erikson's Industry vs. Inferiority task. -
Ages Five Through Twelve: Another Sister?!?
In February 1977 my youngest sister was born prematurely; both her and my mom spent alot of time in the hospital. Instead of acting out like I did when Denise was born this time I stepped up and tried to fill my mom's role at home by helping my dad around the house and helping him take care of Denise. -
Ages Five Through Twelve: The Turtle Emerges From Her Shell...Kinda
I finally started coming out of my shell as I hit double digits although I was very selective reagrding who I trusted. The few friends I made then I am still friends with today. I also still struggle with trust issues. Deep inside I am still the same "show me" kid I was in the early 1980's. -
Ages 12 Through 18: D-I-V-O-R-C-E
In 1983 my parents divorced and my mom moved my sisters and me to another town. Again I was the new kid and again I was bullied. My introverted tendencies deepened. My mom also had to get a job outside of the house which left me to take care of my two younger sister along with taking over the cooking, cleaning, and laundry chores. That was alot to put on a preteen's shoulders. -
Ages 12 through 18: Puberty
Puberty was a very hard time for me. How I physically look now (minus the cellulite and wrinkles) is how I looked at the age of 13. I had breasts and hips and was receiving unwanted attention from men - - very scary. I also started menstruating at this time and although I prayed for it to start every night because all my friends had already started their periods I dreaded my prayers once it began happening. I was in physical pain every month and felt different from the other girls. -
Ages 12 Through 18: High School
I started high school which was a difficult transition for me. I went from a small Catholic grade school where everybody knew everybody to a large high school where I knew no one and no one knew me. It took a while but I eventually found my place. Again, as with grade school I surrounded myself with a small group of friends whom I felt I could trust. -
Ages 12 Through 18: Puff, Puff, Pass
My freshman year of high school I started experimenting with marijuana - an experiment that would last until right before I joined the Navy. Smoking marijuana help me (or so I thought) cope with my world as I knew it. There were two Donnas. Donna the happy-go-lucky teenager when she was with her friends and the Donna at home who had to contend with cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping, and child rearing while still being expected to maintain good grades in school. Trapped between two worlds. -
Ages 12 Through 18: Like A Virgin
I lost my virginity on Columbus Day 1987. I remember this detail not because I was in love with the guy but because it was a federal holiday and I didn't have school. To be honest, I can't say for sure that I even liked him; there are no fond memories for me. I did it because all my close girlfriends had lost their virginity (or so they said). I had a "so what" attitude and couldn't see what the big deal was; didn't figure that out to much later. -
Ages 12 Through 18: Congrats, You're Now An Adult
High school graduation. I was accepted into Baruch College but never attended. My parents had put so much pressure on me academically that now that I was officially an adult I rebeled. I hung out and did alot of nothing. Zero motivation! Soon enough I realized I needed a change of scenery and learn how to be with just me. I joined the Navy and left home. I was finally on my own and have been independent since.
