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Grieved
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Grieved but was not extremely affected
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Seduced by 30 year old man into sexual relationship; loss of "innocence". In my mind at the time, this was when I stopped considering myself a child and became bitterly resentful and defiant at anyone who attempted to treat me as a child. Did not grieve this nor understand it as molestation until I had a child who was 12-13 years old and realized how completely wrong and NOT an adult that age was, despite how I thought of myself at that time.
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Did not know him well, so did not grieve, but felt scared of mysterious disease
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Got sexually involved with a teacher at high school; one pastor of my church jailed for attempted murder of his wife while another accused of child molestation; got pregnant and had abortion & teacher was fired and I was essentially "over" school from then on; did not return for senior year of HS; inpatient treatment facility for 10 weeks for anorexia/bulimia; when discharged, got own apartment rather than moving back into parents' house.
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Grieved- complicated; I loved her but she disapproved of my having gotten married the month before and with her death, I lost the chance to prove to her that it wasn't a mistake. So she died disapproving of me. (I'm still married, 30 years later.)
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Grieved- still grieving. I am now older than my father was when he died. He was alive to perform my wedding but died just before my 21st birthday. I had inadvertently hurt his feelings just before he fell ill and I had an apology card which it turns out I hadn't mailed so he never received, and I realized this after his death. I tried to get to the hospital to say goodbye but I didn't make it in time and he died while I was en route.
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Grandmother died of breast cancer and also had Alzheimer's and was bipolar. I was always her favorite, we were close. I grieved the loss but felt the loss was mine not hers- she was ready to go. My children had chicken pox when she died. This cushioned the blow a little as I got past the worst of the shock of grief while engaged in the immediacy of dealing with two kids with chicken pox. I was grateful she died without a long painful decline and still knew me at the time of her death.
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I got laid off in May then my husband got laid off in November. It was a hard and scary year.
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I lost my innocent assumption of healthy children and the invincibility of youth. He almost died because I didn't "get it". I never complacently assumed all would be well with my children's health again. Also, this was when we got into medical debt, which was a terrible shock.
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Loss of belief that living a healthy lifestyle and having healthy children combined with being vigilant (lesson learned from son's blood sugar crash) means one's children will be okay. Learned that answers to prayer are not always "yes" or "no" but that doesn't take away from it being an answer. Our family pivots on this date- before/after Gigi had brain surgery. Added $50K+ medical debt while still trying to dig out from son's '02 hospitalization and paying for Mar03 birth.
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Had to leave my dream home in same neighborhood with family, church, schools, to move to the suburbs to a cheaper house, due to the medical bills. Had to be done, we could no longer afford that house, but I grieved it for months.
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Even having moved to a cheaper house, we could no longer afford for me to work part-time and stay at home until our last child went to school in 2008, as we had planned. I had worked from home until layoff, then been a SAHM for all three of my kids. Felt very cheated and grieved that I couldn't give the last the same time/attention that I had given the other two, and also felt the loss of my own identity as the end of the era of my being a full-time mother to little ones.
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My granddad died on my 19th wedding anniversary. We were close and I grieved for my loss. He lived a long and happy and productive life,had only a short (one week) decline, and was a pastor confident in his hope of Heaven, so his death was not tragic to him. I still miss him though.
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Last blood link with my dad, having already lost him, then both his parents. She always loved me and wanted to be the cool aunt, and our whole family loved going to the lake to see her.
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I had eye surgery in 1991 so I would not need to wear glasses or contacts, as I had done since 1983. When I turned 43, not only did I have to start wearing glasses again, but I had to start wearing bifocals. I also began wearing "plus size" clothing. These changes in my physical being felt like the end youth and my identity as being an attractive woman to me.
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My oldest graduated HS and chose a college 5 hours away; I am always on call and not able to be more than 1.5 hours away so I could not visit her. The loss came from having "my family"- the family we had built- no longer part of our daily life/home. This loss called my attention to the temporary nature of having my children near me, and not taking for granted the days they live(d) in my home. She has now graduated and settled 3.5 hours away.
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My son graduated HS and chose a college 3.5 hours away. Still always on call, so can't go visit him. I miss him. I have become more accustomed to this type of loss now, having experienced it with my oldest daughter, so I grieve it but less intensely. I have learned that I can maintain the relationship even from afar, though it is different and still a loss. Just less acute.
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After 18 years with the same company, my husband was laid off along with hundreds of other people. Loss of security, loss of income, loss of health insurance, loss of time alone/privacy/uninterrupted to work on schoolwork. Anxiety with loss.
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Due to COVID19, I am a birth doula who can't go into hospitals with clients. I was working more to try and keep us afloat while my husband looked for work, and now I can't work either. School is all online. My HS junior misses her friends, school events, concerts and shows she had been going to be in. I can't help her with Algebra 2-she is falling behind. No one is hiring, everyone is laying off, so no idea when my husband can find work. Things are difficult.