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My mother had planned to kill herself the day she found out she was pregnant. She was homeless and often went days without food. Insecure environment. My dad was abusive to my mom and was a addict and drug dealer. My mom used to take me to the ocean almost daily. I LOVE WATER! My mom did the best she knew how at her young age. When my dad began being very violent my mom planed to leave him and got on a bus to SD to my uncle. My dad found out and went and got on the bus too. No pics
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I believe I developed trust with maybe some mistrust during this stage.
Physically I developed normally sucking to feed, learning to crawl and walk, normal bowl and digestion.
Cognitive: Learning to babble, to cry to get my needs met, sensory learning
Emotionally I assume that there was some sort of emotional disturbances due to my environment. I did have love and care from my mom and grandmother. My mom said my dad was not home very much. -
Physically I learned to be potty trained easily. I learned to feed myself. Run and play at the park.
Cognitivily: Talking more until father went to prison then stopped. Learning abc and counting
Emotionally I believe this was a hard time for me also. -
This was a hard time in my life. We moved to SD. Moved in with uncle. Dad still addict. Mom went to jail for 30 days left with dad bounced around places. My sister was born. Was homeless, empty train car dad went to find food. Mom had to cover my mouth so I wouldnt make noise. Dad went to prison for murder I stopped talking. Mom moved into apartment alone. First memories start. Happy ones with mom and sister before step dad. Blocked out molestation. seen mom do drugs.
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Physically I developed normally. I used to get my sister out of crib and take care of her. I did cut my hand got stitches. Lied to nuns about black eye I had.
Cognitively I was learning in preschool. I learned to drive a car...kind of. Learned to work out and dance. Learned to ride bike.
Emotionally I imagine I was really confused lots of trauma -
I was abused during this time by babysitter grown man. My mom met step dad he found out. Mom partied before meeting Pat. 1989 Moved to mn on farm. Brother was born. 2 step sisters. Visited my dad every weekend at the prison.
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Physically I think we had food insecurity so weighed less than I should have. Grew tall fast. Learned to play basketball. I learned to ride a horse.
Cognitively I remember learning so much in school, one thing that sticks out are the tricks to spell the days of the week right and also N,E,S,W. During this time my sisters and I would make and write books. We played pretend ALL the time.
Emotionally the begining of this stage was so normal. Then it took a nose dive, -
Loved living on farm. So normal. Moved to SF. Drug use, growing and selling. People in and out. First crush...Ryan Kingery. Learned sign language. Nice neighbors always helped take care of us. Spend all day outside in bush making books. Lot of accidents, Messy laundry everywhere, hardly any food. babysat. Lived in country moved 9 times. Moved to rapid. Down hill from there. Biker gangs. locked out. Made to pee in cups. intimidated.Chinese guy food. Mom and dad fought bad. Mom boyfriend.
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Physically I started menstruation, got into fights, really skinny eating disorder
Cognitively I struggled in school. Learned about religion, Street smarts
Emotionally I was a hot mess. I tried to kill myself 2 times. I felt like nothing. I used my body to feel wanted. -
Molested by friends brother. Parents fought all the time. drugs,Biker gangs, other gangs in house. Dad was emotionally abusive. Older boyfriends mom allowed.First tattoo. hardly seen parents. step dad prison. Drugs and drank myself. Raped at 15. Court, house shot up by gang. Moved to Clark. failed freshman due to court. Parents became really strict Developed eating disorder and working out obsession. parents quit drugs drinking 19-18yr old. Met older guy. moved out at 18. graduated.
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Physically became pregnant, had child, developed allergies. Gained weight struggled to get off. Thyroid problems. Became dependent on pain killers to numb pain. Drank to numb pain. Kind of sorta tried to kill myself.
Cognitively I learned a lot during this stage.
Emotional wreck and slowly worked my self out of it. Having my so made me so happy. Became protective -
I had Son. Gained weight emotionally struggled bad. married, Moved to SF. Worked 2 jobs. Son heart Cond. Alcoholic husband. Moved to AZ knew no one. Very alone. Very toxic environment. I tried to protect my son. Physical abuse son witnessed. Cont to use pain killers. Cheated on husband when drunk when I came back to SD after leaving him. Back and forth 4 times. Tricked me 1 divorce papers. 2nd divorce took son. Threaten to kill me with gun son there. Moved to SD had Alexis. Married, sober.
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Physically Im feeling it. I have some slipped disks in neck and lower back. I have hypothyroidism. I love to run.
Cognitively I am LEARNING so much! In college and I see myself continuing to learn.
Emotionally. Well I've been through a lot and I've been to a lot of therapy and school has already helped so much. I foresee nothing but happiness in my future. ( Besides normal stuff) Also having my daughter brought so much happiness -
I've opened and closed a business. I've started college. I also got married. I've done so much healing. I know I will always keep learning and healing but my goal is to pass this on to my family and the future generations. I never want to see a child suffer the way I have. I predict my future job to be helping children with trauma in. Also I predict me graduating college! My son will graduate next year and Alexis will in 2030. Then Retire/Travel. Serve Jesus Christ above all. Daughter JIA
