Timeline: Prehistoric to Rome

Period: 35,000 BCE to 4000 BCE

Paleolithic

28,000 BCE

Venus of Willendof

25,300 BCE

Apollo 11 Stones

If they had been found today then they wouldn't have a name because our space program is non-existent

25,000 BCE

Humans in the Americas

In twenty-five thousand BCE, Siberians crossed the sea; until 1492, when Columbus sailed the ocean blue and killed them all with guns and flees.

Period: 6000 BCE to 3500 BCE

Near East Neolithic

4000 BCE

Anthropomorphic Stele

Period: 4000 BCE to 1500 BCE

European Neolithic

3500 BCE

Beaker with Ibex Motifs

3500 BCE

White Ziggurat and its Temple

2920 BCE

Palette of King Narmer

Period: 2649 BCE to 2150 BCE

Old Egypt

2500 BCE

First Iron Object (probably)

What carnival ride is made of iron?
The ferrous wheel

2500 BCE

Seated Scribe

2400 BCE

Standard of Ur

1750 BCE

Hammurabi's Code

Elam tried to start a war with Babylonia by making poop jokes about Hammurabi

1600 BCE

Stonehenge

If you are allowed in the circle if you are a Pagan on the summer solstice, does that mean that the Nagaps are allowed in the circle on the winter solstice?

Period: 1550 BCE to 712 BCE

New Egypt

1500 BCE

Ambum

1458 BCE

Hatshepsut

1353 BCE

Akhenaton

When I grow up I want to have alien babies

Period: 1353 BCE to 1336 BCE

Amarna Period

The only difference between King Tut and other Egyptian rulers is that other royal figures had their graves robbed by ancient thieves and King Tut had his grave robbed by 20th century "scientists"

1200 BCE

The Fall of Troy?

When I googled this, "the fall of Jake Paul" was the suggested search.

900 BCE

Talitilco

776 BCE

First Olympic Games

To Do: sacrifice hundreds of oxen for Zeus

753 BCE

Rome Founded

Romulus and his twin brother, Remus, found Rome on the site where they were suckled by a she-wolf as orphaned infants.

705 BCE

Lamassu

530 BCE

Korous/Kore

520 BCE

Agora

Period: 510 BCE to 323 BCE

Classic Greece

Period: 509 BCE to 27

Roman Republic

The Roman Republic absorbed more dying empires than a Sham-wow

476 BCE

Western Rome Falls

How was the Roman Empire cut in half? With a pair of Caesars

465 BCE

Audience Hall (Apadana) of Darius and Xerxes

Darius

449 BCE

Persian Wars

Xerxes

447 BCE

Acropolis

440 BCE

Doryphoros (Spear Bearer)

323 BCE

Alexander the Great Dies

Palms are heavy, knees weak arms are heavy, there's vomit on his tunic already; probably typhoid fever.

100 BCE

Alexander Mosaic

100 BCE

Seated Boxer

44 BCE

The assassination of Julius Caesar

Period: 27 BCE to 1453

Imperial Rome

[Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot hahhahaha The imperial system sucks](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsQrKZcYtqg)