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The History of Internet Stompy Robots

  • Pringlescan Registers MWO account

  • Closed Beta Invites Commence

  • Period: to

    MWO Closed Beta

  • ‘Word of Lowtax’ First Coined

    COMMIEGIR, with the help with Numlock, coins ‘Word of Lowtax
  • Star Captain Brofist Registers

  • Mjilaeck Joins MWO

  • Closed Beta Update #1

    New BattleMech(s):Hunchback HBK-4SPHunchback HBK-4JHunchback HBK-4HNew Map(s):Frozen CityNew Item(s):LB 10-X AC
  • Anders Joins Closed Beta

    The "Anders" account gained Closed Beta access (Actually registered 11/1/11
  • Pringlescan Posts

    Pringlescan makes A Post, alerting the greater MWO community to the presence of an organised Goon Group. Rage ensues.
  • WoL Is Born

    Mittens officially recognises the title of Word of Lowtax on the brown sea. WoL comes into being.
  • WoL gets here wings

    Our crest is born via Mjilaeck.
  • WoL Auth Infrastructure In Place

    The mighty SoloDrakban made the WoL Auth Services live, marking the official establishment of the Word of Lowtax community.
  • Beta Update #2 Metal Babby Fever. Stats/Cbills Reset.

    The Commando is released. 215 kph commandos that could start capping an enemy base in about 20 seconds, to them crashing clients, to high ping people seeing them just blink around the map horror movie style.
  • AMS Added

    The Umbrella enters the game
  • AMS Removed

    Because it crashed the game constantly.
  • We Are All Anders Alts

  • First version of MFT Released

    Alpha version was informational only, as the game had no numbers available for mechs/weapons before this.
  • First Goon Thread Locked

    Helmer locks the very first goon hangout thread in the Closed Beta forums. He actually compiled a list of all the 'problems' with that thread and posted them:
  • First WoL SA Thread

    Brofist sobers up long enough to start the first monolithic WOL SA thread
  • First J4G

    Quincy becomes the first reformed J4G in WOL. He assumes lordship of the penile legion.
  • Brofist transforms into Brobot

    The manual WOL authentication system. Takes up habitual alcoholism once more.
  • Ice Fist opens the Mech Emporium and Chopshop

    The golden age of Munchbacks, Lawesomes, and Mawesoms dawns
  • MWO WOL representation at 320 users

    Twice as many as the next closest organization
    Of 161,794 forum members, 561 claim to be female.
  • Beta update 3# - Centurions.

    Increased ammo per ton by 25% for all ballistic weapons (other than the machine gun)     Gave the "bullets" used for the autocannons, gauss rifle, and PPCs a 0.25 m collision radius (it was previously 0, a single point) Gauss rifles become godly. The Gausspult is born.
  • CB Update #4: Hot Caustic Nights

    Caustic Valley enters the map rotation
  • Duncan Fisher on Thirdflower's Posting

  • CB Update #5: Axis of Awesomes

    Awesomes released. Goons use nothing but Mawesomes with massive XL engines until engine limitations are imposed.
  • Group splitting is fixed

    A bug where goons dropping in a group would randomly end up on the other team is fixed.
  • The Lords of Lowtax Meet

    The Lords of Lowtax (Pringlescan, Triskian, Anders, Mjilaeck, Brofist) meet together for the first time
  • Duncan Fisher joins MWO

  • Bropocalypse Now Established

    A bunch of West Coast Bros with gigantic collars decided to make an honest go at it.
  • Founder's Mechs Appear

    4 Mechs nobody plays anymore were released to people who shelled out crowdfunding.
  • Andersbot Comes Online

    Anders looks at the Bropocalypse Now Wiki page and notices that he's been given the title of "Public Relations"
    In an attempt to rehabilitate the Less-than-popular image of Goons in general, he assumes the gimmick of a Public Relations Officer, who says everything, and means nothing. The most saccharine platitudes, vague statments, and plain ol' made up facts are at his command. Never get angry - the pubbies will do it for you. If they want information - make it up.
  • KDR Squad Established

    Belsarius, Ikarti and shankymcstab form KDR Squad. Get mad about robots.
  • River City Launched: 1:1 Weight Matching added

    8 Atlases walked up the G-line, found another 8 Atlases. The shot each other.
  • IGPDavid Enters Third Person View

    Horrace: "What's 3rd person view key?"
    fil5000: "alt something"
    some pubbie: alt f4
    IGPDavid has disconnected
  • Blazing Aces contact WOL

    and tell us they want to be BFFs
  • Honoure Roll Hits 300

    The list of pubbies we've tricked into pressing ALT+F4 hits 300.
  • Mechwarrior Remix

    Dubwrecktor Two Beans releases his acclaimed Mechwarrior Remix
  • Coronation of the Lords of Lowtax

    The Lord of Lowtax are established by Pringlescan. The celebration ceremony featured many tinfoil hats.
  • CB Update #8: Repair and rearm added

    Repair and Rearm were added, leading to the hilarity of pubbies refusing/forgetting to repair and coming out with little to no armor.
  • Bropoc Slays The DRAAGUN

    Bropoc defeats an apparent Tryhard Group, Draagun.
  • First Run Hot or Die Tournament Begins

    The first RHOD tournament begins. Bropoc give it a good go, but cease to give a fuck after round 1.
  • Fighting Cocks Founded

    Some strange folk with questionable hygene decided to start shooting robots at strange times.
  • Bropocalypse Now is eliminated from 1st RHOD.

    Nobody cared.
  • BigBirds_Nursery is built

    The first newbird jabber channel was created on the GSF Jabber infrastructure.
  • RIP Vilerat

  • Chronojam buys his first Dragon

    Becomes a tragic day for one more reason.
  • First Shooting Blues Tournament Began

    WoL's first attempt to get newbirds up to speed for competitive play, develop new tactics, help improve overall coordination and provide oldbirds an outlet because "we aren't killing enough," but it seems people took the tournament way too serious. It was ended practically right as it started.
  • Engine Limitations Revised. RIP Super Lunchback.

    Mawesomes and Hunchbacks no longer hilariously OP.
    The Rise of the Gausspult.
  • The Great Market Collapse of September 18, 3049

    Match winnings reduced severely. Many people cried.
  • First Wol Commanders Appointed

    The first WOL commanders join the newly created commanders group
  • MFT Becomes The First Mech Fitting Tool

    MFT becomes first MWO 'Fitting Tool' as update enables the building of mechs.
  • "Ask A Goon" Thread has moderation crackdown.

  • PGI Claims to Have Been Monitoring SA

    PGI claims to have been monitoring SA megathread coverage for the previous 4 months
  • PGI IS SPYING ON US

    PGI claims to have been monitoring SA megathread coverage for the previous 4 months
  • Machine Gun Bukkake

  • NDA is lifted.

    NDA covering the early stages of closed beta is lifted. Goons celebrate by filming people dying.
  • Atlas Rave

  • Goku Kerensky "Born"

    Goku Keresnky is conceived using genetic material from Sailor Moon and Agincourt
  • BlueWarrior Online: Thermals changed

    Previous thermals were multicoloured, similar to MW2
  • RHOD II Prelim Games Begin

    Run Hot or Die II Tournament begins
  • CryEngine 3.4 Update

    PGI Upgrades MWO to CryEngine 3.4 Netcode is broken until Jan 8th. Open Beta delayed until October 25th while bandaid fixes are put in place.
  • Goons Heart Paul

    Goons show Paul Inouye how much we love him by Tackling Him Repeatedly.
  • THE NEST IS BUILT

    the_nest is established as a newbird friendly chat zone.
  • KDR Squad Gets Serious

    Nephyx successfully wrangles 7 spergs against some Robinson Rangers and A Legend is Born
  • First Newbird Guide

    Amechwarrior finishes his magnum opus- The Newbird Guide and wiki guide is born
  • Big_Bird's Nursery Closed

    Due to the 3049 Mech Romney government's defunding of Sesame Street, BigBirds_Nursery channel was shut down.
  • MWO Hits Version 1.0. Star League tech released.

    Double Heatsinks, Endo Steel and Ferro Fibrous Armor enter the game.
  • Knockdowns removed.

    Light mechs become king, Dragons cease to have a purpose.
  • Raven 3L, Awesome 9M, Centurions and Yen Lo Wang Released

    Raven 3Ls are released, to little fanfare. Awesome 9Ms are expected to be the next Super Mawesome. Are not. The Yen Lo Wang causes goons to finally start considering the notion that PGI may not actually have a fucking clue what they're doing.
  • First Squawk of the Union

  • OPEN BETA BEGINS

    New forums, stats and cbills wipe. Phase 1 Matchmaking delayed. WOL experiences a huge surge in numbers and up to 10 8 man groups at a time surge through the hordes of wide eyed newbies. Surprisingly servers do not crash, however the recent patches have made the game hilariously unstable anyway.
  • Period: to

    Open Beta

  • Bropoc Ravendance

  • Stats system is back online

    Several goons achieve a K:D ratio in excess of 100 within the first day
    MWO mumble shoots past 110 simultaneous goon pilots
  • NERF TEAMWORK

    Huge anti-premade sentiment sweeps the brown sea, with countless threads appearing to complain about organized play.
    http://mwomercs.com/...groups-forever/http://mwomercs.com/...27#entry1310327http://mwomercs.com/...re-mades-exist/http://mwomercs.com/...ling-just-read/
  • VCRS Episode 1 Airs

    The Violent Combat Robot Show Podcast Episode 1 Airs.
  • CoC Changed: ALT+F4 Banned

    The Honour Roll, having peaked 1000, attracts unwanted attention. Convincing pubbies to press Alt+F4 to enable third person view becomes bannable after a change to the code of conduct. We respond by publishing a final video containing all of the names of those we duped.
  • The First Festival of Artemis

    The First Festival of Artemis
    Artemis is implimented, along with some tuning of the arc of LRMs. As a result, when artemis is equipped, LRMs made a sharp 90 degree turn and landed on your head, making cover pointless and headshots common. Goons did the right thing: loaded up on C1s and DDCs packed with LRMs+A and 10t ammo.
  • DHS modifier set to 1.4

    DHS were modified from 2.0x the head disspiation of a single heatsink to 1.4. Engine heatsinks did 1.0. Pulse lasers were modified as it was found they were doing 50% less heat than anticipated. Large Pulse lasers became unusable. Medium pulse lasers became vastly inferior to Medium Lasers. Medium Lasers became the stalwart weapon, with the Hunchback 4P and Jenner F seeing huge boosts in popularity.
  • Phase I Matchmaker

    8 Mans removed, max group size locked to 4. Goons invent Sync Dropping.
  • First Festival of Artemis Ends

    After 2 days of hilarious goon slaughters on account of Boating exclusively, PGI patch Artemis. LRMs become totally worthless for several weeks until tuning brings them back to roughly pre-patch levels.
  • Goon Thunderdome Conceptualised

  • Flaming Drongos Established

    Don Dongington and Hodlum establish the Flaming Drongos for Aus Goons. Immediately has the largest player roster in WoL. Is dead within 2 months. Doctors suggest alcohol poisoning.
  • Mittens Registers on the Brown Sea

    Local stores sell out of tinfoil.
  • Remember me?

    After months of "Remember Me" button not working on MWOMercs.com, it is removed to "prevent security exploits."
  • Newbird Montage Released

    Red5x5 gives us Montage of the Newbird
  • The Story of Battletech

    Dead Like Rev and Professor Curly record The Story of Battletech
  • Cataphracts Launch. Festival of Dakka. (Nerfed shortly after)

    UAC5s don't jam nearly enough and as a result turn the UAC5 into a mudermachine.
  • Streak Cat Reign of Terror Begins

    Pubbies start to notice that putting 6 SSRM2s on an A1 means you don't have to aim, and get to kill everything that walks.
  • Hot River City Nights

    River City Night is added to the map rotation. Usage of thermals goes from 70% to 90%. Does not change back until thermals are nerfed.
  • Streaks nerfed - no longer home on CT. Still OP

    A bug causing streaks to always home in on the CT of a target is fixed. Streaks become less overpowered but are still commonly used to murder you.
  • ECM ENTERS THE GAME

    Raven 3Ls become king until host state rewinding and netcode fixes are implimented. Jenners are rendered useless.
  • Streak Cat Reign of Terror Ends

    Streak cats had been becoming increasingly prevalent and dangerous until this point, however the introduction of ECM makes them totally impotent. The A1 Splatapult begins to see further use.
  • Illest Marmoset is born.

    The Guassapult is finally topped from a long reign as the Most Optimal Robot.
  • The Age of The Umbrella Ends

  • Phase II Matchmaking (4 or 8 man groups) begins

  • Spookykid rediscovers the Commando 2D.

  • RHOD II Competition Games Begin

    The first competitive games of RHOD II begin
  • Honoure Roll goes public

  • The Brown Sea is Attacked

    The MWO forums suffer a drive-by injection attack on their IPB forum software. For most of the day their server admin Kyle blames faulty anti-virus/malware scanner software, even when faced with proof of the injected code. It takes at least a week or more for Google and most browsers to stop flagging mwomercs.com as a malicious attack website. Rumors still abound to this day that the attackers obtained the user email database list.
  • Stalker Launches. Goons disappointed.

  • PPC SPEED INCREASED. Become viable weapons.

    This is the first of several factors which contribute to PPCs being a godweapon. At this point they were still somewhat hot, but starting to see more use amongst goons.
  • The Great J4G Purge

    WOL activity is believed to have peaked at around this point. So we celebrated by booting out shitlords.
  • DANGER CLOSE!

  • VassagoRain declares "Brawlers ruined MWO"

    Known shitlord and prolific YouTube pubbiestar VassagoRain creates yet another misguided video, accusing ECM and brawling of ruining MechWarrior Online. Within four months the game is an unfun snipefest.
  • Sloshops I

    Goons get drunk en masse and play robots. KDR and 2 Drongos Kill Kaos with 6PPC Stalkers
    ALL HAIL KDRONGOS HADOUKEN
  • Netcode Improves - Partial Lagshield Fix

    Formerly invincible lights are now more vulnerable. Streaks become easier to lock on as the netcode becomes a tonne more stable. Hitting lights with energy weapons is still tough, ballistics very difficult.
  • WoL Leadership Reveal

    WOL leadership thread goes live and the first directors are revealed (Jade Raven, Mashed, Hubis, Agincourt, and Stalkerr)
  • Giant Bomb Stream gets Goonrushed

  • Slosh Ops II (AKA Sloshgate)

    Goons get drunk, this time with extra drama. Goons say nasty things and get purged. KDR and remaining Drongos form a drunken alliance. Other Goons got mad at them For Being Better At Robots Than Them
  • Squawk.gif

    &c Nickel completes Squawk.gif
  • Night of Many Daggers

    WoL explodes in turmoil. Brofist sobers up, takes up his mighty hammer and the horror is squashed.
  • Target Decay and Spiders.

    The Spider is released. Goons laugh. Target decay is added, LRMs get a small boost. Large Lasers are still better.
  • Communication Is Key!

    Metro posts a wall of unintelligable bullshit
  • MWLL Shuts Down

  • Kaetetôã is found

    A new subforum of Off Topic is created, named after our homeworld. Goons rejoice. Rev cried a little. Number19 posted so much he had to spend time in hospital.
  • MechaShiva Discovered

    You take some mechs and some mechs and some mechs and some mechs you get a mech-mech stack!
  • The Wizard is unveiled

  • New Newbird Guide Released

    Bok, with the help of Dryerlint, revamps the newbird guide to include recommended builds. Goes live on both SA & WOL
  • Pretty Baby added. Goons vomit.

    A bad Awesome hero mech launches. Nobody buys it.
  • Energy weapon heat tuning. PPCs become Optimal.

    The metagame begins to shift dramatically towards long range over traditional brawling. Large Lasers, Gauss and PPCs become the new gold standard for many, with long range combat being preferred by serious players.
  • The Wizard is lost in combat

  • Violent Combat Robots - The Musical

    Dubwrecktor Two Beans releases his Violent Combat Robots Remix
  • Talents Fixed

    Pilot lab perks finally start to work as advertised. Mechs get notably cooler once elited. Fast Fire does something.
  • Trebuchets Launch.

    ZZzzzzzzzzz HUH? Oh. Yah some bad robots.
  • Alpine Peaks. Horribly Broken

    Still pretty broken.
  • Matchmaking Phase III

    ELO added. 8 Man queues so dead by this point that it doesn't actually do anything.
  • X5 Hero Mech. Someone Coughed.

    A bad cicada hero mech launches.
  • Testing Grounds.

    Testing grounds launch. Gwaihir gets excited.
  • Host State Rewinding for Lasers.

    PGI Impliment Host State Rewinding for Lasers - the game will check with your client where the enemy was according to you at the moment you pulled the trigger, and recalculate trajectory. This means you don't have to lead for ping. Light mechs no longer viable. Don finally shoots something with a LL. Metagame permanently shifts further towards long range combat with ER/Large Lasers. PPCs increasingly common.
  • Metropocalypse. Metro melts down, is de-modded.

  • Jagermechs, Consumables

    Jagermechs launch. AC20s are fun but recent metagame changes make the Large Laser and PPC far more workable
  • Tourmaline Desert Launches.

    Is vastly better than Alpine.
  • Festival of Artemis II - Not actually related to Artemis

    A bug related to missile splash damage causes LRMs to become hilariously effective again, similar to the First Festival of Artemis. Goons do the Right Thing and equip a bunch of Stalker 3Hs loaded with LRM20+A.
  • This bit looks like a dong.

    This is my dong, There are many like it, but this one is mine.
  • Artemis II Hotfixed

    The issues with splash damage and criticals are patched out. LRMs go back to normal.
  • Poptarting Popularity

    Over the next few weeks, poptarting begins to see even more popularity amongst pubbies, notably groups who played in previous Mechwarrior titles. The Cataphract 3D and Trebuchet models are used increasingly with jump jets to inflict long range damage while remaining covered while not firing.
  • WoL Jabber Server Goes Live

    wordoflowtax.com jabber server goes live, meaning goons no longer get Directorbot messages. We celebrate by squawking more.
  • Heavy Metal Highlander

    The Highlander Hero Mech is released. It's a smaller Atlas with Jump Jets. Goons buy it.
  • RIP Bluewarrior Online

    Blue thermals are changed to "white hot" thermals. Goons weep. KDR and Don bitch because they'd hacked the old ones to look better. All vision enhancement modes now have very short draw distance and are less fit for sniping.
  • Rest of the Highlanders released

    The remainder of the highlanders are released. The 733P and 732 are bought by every single poptarter. Goons respond by buying them also and spamming allchat with PART OF THE PROBLEM while poptarting.
  • HSR: Ballistics - PoptartWarrior Online Begins

    Host State Rewinding is added for PPCs, Gauss, LBX and Autocannon, in conjunction with the release of the 733P, this causes a serious imbalance towards the poptarting tactic. Many goons leave the game in disgust until PGI can sort it out. PGI respond that they do not see a problem with this imbalance and make no promises to fix it.
  • History Thread Begins

    Don Dongington decides to do a history of MWO. Anders posts a thread. Don appointed as loremaster/historian. Immediately regrets decision.
  • PGI Is in a Mall

    Goons discover PGI is actually located at a mall in downtown Vancouver.
  • Worst Sale to Date

    PGI outdoes themelves. There Are No Words.
  • "Squawking should be a bannable offense"

    Anders terrorises NGNG's live stream
  • BEST PATCH EVER

    AC5 range is buffed, fixing everything that has been plaguing the game for the last couple of months.
  • Bropoc Defeat Kong Securities

    Bropoc vanquish a kong 8 man streak cat team when Jaderaven disovers they're running fuck all in the way of leg armor and that Streak ammo is pretty explosive.
  • Jump Sniping is Nerfed

    After months of constructive criticism and also incessant whining by all about the horrible state of the metagame, PGI finally nerf the Jump Jet mechanic. Goons can finally dust off their brawler mechs, although SRMs are still horribly broken and often do not register damage.
  • THE BACLKEJACK

    The spriritual successor to the Super Lunchback, the Backlejack 1X is born. Sporting 8 energy weapons and an XL295, goons flock to this sleek, fast murdermachine en masse. Conquest queues are never the same again.
  • The Great M A L I C E Sperg

    M A L I C E finds his way onto our mumble's public area and proceeds to regale goons with his tales of woe, and plans to sue IGP for banning him. For like 9 hours straight, seriously.
  • WoL Turns 1!

    We have a massive party, with tournaments and games and so much booze. Zero drama results, as Tinal is still banned,