My life By aburne93 Jun 23, 1993 I was born Aug 1, 1996 Moved from Stow to Hudson Apr 10, 1997 Learned to spell my name Aug 28, 2000 Began grade school at Evamere Elementary Aug 26, 2008 Began high school Jun 3, 2010 Hired for first job: custodial sub for Hudson School District Jun 5, 2010 Created first checking account Jul 6, 2011 Hired for second job: dishwasher at Rosewood Grill Sep 15, 2011 Selected to be lead defense attorney for mock trial team; develop interest in law Oct 14, 2011 Earned Miami University's Bridges scholarship Jun 11, 2012 Graduated Hudson High School Jun 30, 2012 Worked for Rosewood Grill again, this time as server Aug 24, 2012 Enrolled in Miami University Honors program with pre-law major Aug 14, 2014 Selected to participate on Jeopardy College Tournament Jun 3, 2016 Graduated from Miami University Nov 28, 2016 Begin law school at Stanford Jun 16, 2020 Graduated law school at head of class Jul 12, 2020 Began working for prestigious law firm, Arguedas, Cassman & Headley, LLP Apr 17, 2021 Married daughter of California state senator Feb 25, 2023 Used political connections to run for governor of California Nov 17, 2023 Successfully elected to California governor Mar 15, 2028 Ran for California senator after successful governor term Nov 8, 2028 Successfully elected to U.S. Senate under democratic ticket May 10, 2029 Convinced legislature to invest in solar power and hydrogen cars Dec 2, 2030 Secretly leaked classified personal information on opposing senators to libertarian extremist groups Sep 12, 2031 Pushed to enact bills restricting economic freedom to government and universal healthcare and education Oct 20, 2031 Energy crisis is solved after green energy initiative Jan 11, 2032 Ran for United States President after successes as senator Nov 12, 2032 Successfully elected to U.S. presidency under democratic ticket Nov 30, 2032 U.S. trade defecit reaches low point Jun 26, 2033 Hire socialist paramilitary group to assassinate opposing legislators; frame anarchists Sep 28, 2033 Enacted bill establishing socialist paramilitary group as independent police force Mar 17, 2034 Replaced assassinated officials with sympathetic authoritarians; gain control of Congress Jul 27, 2034 Established pro-anarchy and anti-government speech as federal crimes Feb 13, 2035 Staged assassination of numerous leftist officials; framed Mexican libertarian extremists Apr 19, 2035 Pass enabling act extending presidential term indefinitely May 23, 2035 Declared war on Mexico Apr 11, 2037 Annexed Mexico under military threat; begin rapid industrialization Jul 25, 2037 Spent government revenues on media control; developed personality cult Mar 12, 2038 Named "Protector for Life of the Federated States of Burnistan" Aug 22, 2040 Mobilize military in attempt to intimidate China into submission Nov 29, 2043 Military coup organized by rebels storms capitol, forced to flee to Canada Dec 29, 2043 Adopted alias "Daron Gurne" Jan 30, 2044 Purchased apartment in Vancouver with embezzled funds May 9, 2044 Revised will and retirement plan Jul 27, 2044 Found work managing small but reputable restaurant Coincidentally, employees complained that I'm "such a dictator at times" Apr 8, 2046 Got married again Oct 27, 2053 Died while eating too much delicious Canadian bacon
