"The first man was a hypocrite and a coward, qualities which have not yet failed in his line; it is the foundation upon which all civilizations have been built."

  • Escaping Pap

    Escaping Pap
    "I got out amongst the driftwood and then laid down in the bottom of the canoe and let her float... The sky looks ever so deep when you lay down on your back in the moonshine. I never knowed it before and how far a body can hear on the water such nights" (Twain 31).
  • Meeting Judith Loftus

    Meeting Judith Loftus
    %u201CNow trot along to your uncle, Sarah Mary Williams George Elexander Peters, and if you get into trouble send word to Mrs. Judith Loftus, which is me, and I%u2019ll do what I can to get you out of it%u201D (Twain 55).
  • Saving Robbers

    Saving Robbers
    "I wished the widow knowed about it. I judged she would be proud of me for helping these rapscallions, because rapscallions and dead beats is the kind the widow and good people take the most interest in%u201D
  • Dividing the raft

    Dividing the raft
    "Well, then, says I, what's the use you learning to do right when it's troublesome to do right and ain't no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same? I was stuck. I couldn't answer that. So I reckoned I wouldn't bother no more about it, but after this always do whichever come handiest at the time" (Twain 83).
  • Living with the Grangefords

    Living with the Grangefords
    %u201COther places do seem so cramped and smothery, but a raft don%u2019t. You feel mighty free and easy and comfortable on a raft.%u201D
  • Sherburn's Rooftop Speech

    Sherburn's Rooftop Speech
    "'The average man's a coward... Your newspapers call you a brave people so much that you think you are braver than any other people-- whereas you're just as brave, and no braver... you're afraid to back down--afraid you'll be found out to be what you are--cowards--and so you raise a yell, and hang yourselves onto that half-a-man's coat-tail, and come raging up here, swearing what big things you're going to do'" (Twain 132).
  • The Duke and the King

    The Duke and the King
    %u201CIt didn%u2019t take me long to make up my mind that these liars warn't no kings nor dukes, at all, but just low-down humbugs and frauds%u201D (Twain 113).
  • Stealing Wilks's Gold

    Stealing Wilks's Gold
    %u201CWhen I got by my self I went to thinking the things over. I says to myself, shall I go to that doctor, private, and blow on these frauds? No %u2013that wont do. He might tell who told him%u2026 there ain%u2019t no good way but one. I got to steal that money, somehow; and I got to steal it some way that they wont suspicion that I done it. They%u2019ve got a good thing here, and they ain%u2019t a-going to leave till they%u2019ve played this family and this town for all they%u2019re worth, so I%u2019ll find a chance time enough.%u201D (Twain
  • Freeing Jim at the Phelp's

    Freeing Jim at the Phelp's
    %u201CTom told me what his plan was, and I see in a minute it was worth fifteen of mine for style, and would make Jim just as free a man as mine would, and maybe get us all killed besides.%u201D