Asking and offering assistance

By Tessavetter

  • Asking for assistance

    Many people struggle to ask for assistance. They think "if you want it done right, then do it yourself." This can actually be a weakness and can cause more problems than it fixes.

  • Self-sufficiency syndrome

    The inability to ask for help. You believe that no one can do anything as well as you. Even though the good effects are singular control, others approval, carrier enhancement, and self-confidence, you often get pulled into the extreme and get burnt out from too much responsibility, stress, unrealistic expectations, and lack of self acceptance. These cover your personal needs. You should try to find a balance between self sufficiency and burnout.

  • ACT formula

    This helps you ask for help and let go of the extreme of self sufficiency. A-what are you afraid of? What keeps you from asking for help. C-let go of the feeling of control. You need to trust others and give up some of the control. T-learn to trust yourself enough to reach out and trust some one else to help you.

  • Minimizing rejection

    Learn to communicate in a way that allows your request to be accepted. You have to give the receiver to help you when you give them options. Try to observe others that ask for help, see what they do. Look at your self in third person. It helps you to see when and where you could have asked for help.

  • Offering assistance

    It can also be difficult to offer assistance. You usually only think of yourself in situations like this. To change this, you should ask what you can do to help. Family and friends first. Offer your services, this shows them that you care. Attempt to make this a routine and you will see it begin to be second nature. Another good way would be to listen to a person. If someone rejects your assistance when you ask, ask one more time just to make sure, then walk away if they reject it again.

  • Listening

    Active listening is just as important when you don't judge and be kind. Stay focused on what they are saying, remember to look at them and not let you mind wander, they can tell when this happens.