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I Was Born
This is where it all started. My mother waddled down the halls with a prince waiting in her tummy to rule the world. 9 months of extreme pain, vomiting, a changing diet have produced a monster awaiting his debut. A light at the end of the tunnel flashed, telling me it was freedom I made my way out of the scary uterus and found a man in white picking me up like I was Simba from the Lion King. Roar! -
I Came Home
As a prince, I was treated with luxury. I was to remain at the hospital in Fort Lauderdale, Florida for another two to three days. I was healthy, I had some red hair already growing in, my bottom was smooth and when I would cry, I would roar like a Lion. King of the jungle! I felt like nothing could stop me. Fear me. As I was brought home into my Floridian palace after my hospital departure, I screamed and cried because I created some feces. The scent was enough to scare the cat away for good. -
My Second Birthday
Finally. I have reached the age of two. Now when the ladies ask how old I am I can hold up two fingers. I was heading from a prince into the transformation of a King. My teeth were coming in, I was ready to bite when my food was taken away. Mother comes in with a Barney cake. I love this woman. Barney makes me happy and no one seemed to understand that. This woman was now on my good side and shall be called "mom" for the rest of eternity. She will present me with more barney cakes, as i am king. -
Breaking My Arm
Ah yes. Preschool is a place where I thrived. I went to La Petite. We had just finished construction on our playground. So instead of chasing iguanas through the grass, I embarked up the newly built playground castle. Now listen, at 4 years old i was a savage. I climbed over the railing of the castle and climbed to the highest peak where i then took turns jumping off of with some kid that followed me everywhere. As i hit the ground landing on my right arm, it snapped. My arm looked like an "S." -
Moving To Florida
My dad had already moved up following his job a few months prior to us departing. I was 7 years old now, and i still had no clue what was going on, but Pokemon was lit. I jammed my belongings into the car and charged up my gameboy. We drove for 2 days stopping somewhere, I don't exactly remember where, but it was gross. If I didn't have my Pokemon someone was getting thunder punched in the face. I watched Family Guy in the back seat until we arrived to this "L" shaped house in Patterson, NY. -
Meeting My Best Friend
So it's recess and I'm looking quite dazzling with my sweater, baggy jeans and Nike New Balance shoes. Yeah all the ladies loved me. I was one chubby red head not to miss out on. Anyway, were playing kickball right and this kid with purple bangs thinks he's all that. So I had to show off my skills as well. I could bomb a kickball and move like a squirrel. So after I gave him the scrape I said "If you got that purple stuff out you'd be better!" Then he flipped me off. So I invited him over. BFF! -
The End of The World
So what the hell was this? This is the dumbest thing anyone has ever said in their life. So I'm like what? 13? I don't know. But I was dating this whack girl and she was saying all this lovey-dovey crap to me. BRO THE WORLD IS GOING TO END CAN YOU SHUT UP FOR A BIT?! So yeah I got yelled at for it. I did a whole bunch of dumb things too and I acted nice to people because I thought we were all going to blow up. No. It was a stupid big lie, I stayed up all night and nothing happened. Like yo...... -
Getting Suspended
So after a nice track practice my boys thought it would be a good idea to go smoke that dank dank in the woods before we went home. So i followed them being a completely idiotic teen. We were sitting on the hill enjoying ourselves until I noticed the track coaches face looking right at me. So I ran and listen, I'm fast as hell, they did not catch me or come close. But my red hair made me well known so my great running skills served no use. I was then suspended for the rest of the year. Wow! -
Starting In a Varsity Game
So I'm feeling horrible throughout the day because I don't even know if I'm going to play. I'm a savage but i never got to see the field much. Anyway it turns out i was playing starting Cornerback. Anyone that would come to my side would murked. Especially number 2, he thinks he's all nice trying to run that out route on me. You know what I did? I broke his elbow. Don't throw to my side. I'm very aggressive. I will attack. But yeah I watched him get carted off. But we still took a loss and damn. -
First Day of Senior Year
So yeah I'm almost 18, I'm legendary. I put on my Lucky brand white T-shirt and my Abercrombie sweater, Abercrombie jeans and my sexy white Adidas shoes. Oh damn i was looking fly. I don't feel the need to describe my socks or underwear, that's strange. But I marched right into guidance and had them fix my whack schedule. Now I see the GOAT Mr. Loalbo every morning and rub my feet on Andrew. This is going to be a great year. I come in late and I leave early. I'm set, and I'm actually happy!
