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Hi, I'm a psychologist ready to teach you (college students) how to establish healthy relationships-- by using Chris McCandless as an example.
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Chris McCandless was born on February 12th, 1968 in El Segundo, California. He was an adventurer, seeking a solitary, nomadic lifestyle: who although had some communication difficulties with his family at home, made many positive bonds with those he met along his journey.
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Throughout Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer, a reoccurring topic was the conflictions between Chris and his parents. These conflicts between McCandless and his parents arose after Chris' discovery of his parents affair; as they gave birth to him while his father, Walt, was still with his ex-wife Marcia. Due to this, Chris had built up resentment towards his parents and their relationship began to deteriorate.
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When establishing healthy relationships, communication is key. Not doing so can lead to misunderstanding and dissension.
- This is exactly what happened between Chris and his parents; as he did not let them know of his discovery, and instead let the information overtake his emotions.
- These emotions presumably further influenced his decisions to distance himself/leave El Segundo, pursuing his dreams to adventure solo: leaving his parents, and many other family members confused and concerned.
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Along Chris' adventure, two of the people who he developed a connection with was Jan Burres and her boyfriend Bob. McCandless met them in Arcata when in need of a ride, while he was hitchhiking and had grew fond of them due to their generosity towards him (when he was in need of food, shelter, etc). This feeling was reciprocal- as Jan had liked Chris as well, since he reminded her of her own son; who also estranged from his family.
- Even after their meet, they made sure to keep in touch.
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A big factor of why people can hit it off so well within a short amount of time (and even decide to keep in touch) is kindness and respect.
- Unlike how McCandless' parents were to Chris, Jan and Bob did not completely dismiss Chris' plans to implement their own on him; but instead helped in ways they could and suggested alternatives- in concern for his safety.
- The kindness and respect shown to Chris helped their communication and relationship flourish.
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Relationships can strengthen immensely when those within it listen to one another.
- When McCandless and Franz talked for those few days, both listened to what the other had to say. This built understanding and a sense of closeness.
- This understanding is something Chris' family dynamic lacked, making him distant. But it is also what made his relationship with Ron healthy. It helped them feel heard, rather than ignored- which could bitter a relationship.
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One of the final people on Chris' journey that he had deeply connected with was Ronald Franz, an eighty year old, widowed father. They had met while camping, when McCandless hitchhiked a ride from Franz and remained with him for a matter of days. Over the course of that time, Franz had felt a closeness; urging him to ask if he could adopt McCandless as his grandson. Even though Chris rejected this offer (to follow his plans), it was undeniable how strong their relationship quickly became.
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Although he could have conveyed his thoughts and feelings to his family in a better manner, McCandless is a great example of how one can and should communicate with others.
- One could learn from Chris as he is kind, respectful and a great listener. These qualities can help one create amazing, healthy relationships with those around them.