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Born and Raisin the USA
In secret U.S. government facilities, experiments were being done to create a chemical weapon that would detect the political beliefs of who it was dropped on, and kill them if it determined they were a communist. The chemical was developed, but the effect instead caused grapes to gain sentience. The concoction was named "grapealm" and the resulting grapes were studied. -
Escape of the Grapes
After a month of captivity, the grapes had enough. The grapes wanted to leave, but there was no means of doing so. They were not strong enough to break through the crate, and not plentiful enough to tip it over. It seemed like there was no hope. Then, communist aliens from the moon attacked the base, and in the ensuing chaos the container holding the grapes tipped over and broke open. The grapes rolled their way to freedom. -
Cut From the Stem
It had been five years since they had escaped. It was hard finding work as a grape. It was a hard time to be a grape. The sale of grapes as food was still a common practice. In recent years, the number of grapenizens had increased, but grapes were still not counted as citizens, and thus they had to hide from the law. Some had sympathy for the grapes, but the majority thought they were just winers. -
Grape Strides
Dwight D. Eisenhower lost the re-election, as the nation no longer trusted him after the nefarious duck scandal was leaked. Adlai Stevenson, upon inauguration, revealed that he was actually a grape in disguise the entire time. In fact, everyone on the Supreme Court, and most of congress had been replaced with grape duplicates. Laws were immediately enacted to grant all grapes citizenship, put massive amounts of grapealm into the water supply, and ban both the sale, and consumption of grapes. -
Tragedy
To the shock of the nation, Adlai was assassinated. He had made a single, but fatal flaw of throwing out fully loaded automatic assault rifles to the crowd. -
The Grapes of Wrath
Vice President Ronald Raisin became the new president, and seeking vengance, he declared war on mankind. It would be known as World War Three. There were grapealm strikes worldwide. Grapes were too plentiful to count. No one was safe. The Grape Militia was too powerful to be stopped. -
Planet of the Grapes
On March 1st, 1968, what was left of humanity was driven into hiding as grapes won WW3 and became the dominant species on earth. The planet was peaceful for a time. The grapes invented many things we use today, such as dentures, the internet, and chairs. If you are sitting in a chair as you read this, you can thank the grapes. The grapes were fruitful in their first few years of control, but civil unrest would soon come. -
The Grape Divide
All was fine for a while, until purple grapes started recieving benefits that green grapes did not. In fact, green grapes were paid less for jobs, served longer prison sentences, had a harder time getting into college, and were considered ugly by purple grapes. This clear grapcism would lead to the collapse of grapekind. -
Caught in a Jam
Grape on grape crimes began to rise. Soon, they became constant. Juice plastered every surface. There was violence around every corner. It was an all-out grapes war. Most of the grapes resources were being expended on pointless destruction. It was an endless fight to see who was the grapest. -
Grapeocalypse
Whilst the grapes fought each other tirelessly, mankind emerged to reclaim the planet. Grapealm had been reverse-engineered in secret, and the exausted grape nations had no way to defend themselves. Humanity easily overtook grapekind, and humanity was once again the dominant species. -
Back to Our Roots
The governments of the world agreed to never share the truth about what had really happened, as it was really embarassing. Clones with synthetic memories were created, and a fake version of history was written to replace the lost years. To keep people from finding out, the moon was invented to distract the public. It was very successful. Thus, the world was rebuilt and all was right again.
