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Esther dates Buddy, an upperclassman at Yale until finding out that he carried on an affair with a waitress. Buddy gets tuberculosis and Esther rejects his marriage proposal
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After winning a writing contest sponsored by a popular fashion magazine, Esther is awarded an expenses paid, month-long internship in New York.
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Esther begins to cry during a photo shoot a few days before work ends in which she is asked to hold a paper rose to represent her inspiration behind her writing. When the photographer asks her to smile, she describes feeling like a " ventriloquists' dummy" (pg.102), suggesting that she feels disconnected from herself.
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While at a party with another intern named Doreen, Esther's date pushes her into the mud and attempts to sexually assault her. Esther manages to fight off her attacker.
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Immediately after the attack, Esther takes a train to go back home and live with her mother.
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" I can't sleep. I can't read" (pg. 126)
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Esther is referred to Doctor Gordon by her normal Doctor, Teresa. After seeing him for a couple of weeks, he recommends shock therapy. This proved to be a painful and traumatic experience as it is not done correctly.
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She starts by attempting to slit her wrists before settling on her calf in order to work up more courage. Later on, Esther goes to the beach with someone her friend set her up with. While there, she swims out into the water and tries and drown herself before giving up because she keeps floating to the top.
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After telling her mother that she is going for a long walk, Esther finds a bottle of sleeping pills and takes them while hiding under the breezeway in her basement. Her mother finds her several days later.
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There, she meets Dr. Nolan, a woman who promises Esther that her experience will be different than with Dr. Gordon.
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After being transferred to a more laid back wing of the hospital called Belsize, Esther is taken aside for shock therapy which is more successful than previously. She is also receiving insulin therapy
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A couple of weeks after being released from Belsize, Esther's high school friend, Joan, hangs herself.
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Esther goes in for an interview to determine whether she can rejoin society and go back to college
