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Overall premise
In this intriguing novel the setting was mostly taken place in the High school. This year is going to be different because Al has to deal with the loss of her sister, Leah, and trying to grieve anyway possible. The main characters are Allie, Emery, Max, Nick, mom, and the “spirit” of Leah. I chose this book because first, I was in Barnes & Nobles and saw this book. However, I chose this book because I could relate how Allie felt as it reminded me the grief I had over my mother's death. -
Event 1
Allie is in her Junior year and her sister Leah commits suicide. Nevertheless, she is highly devastated because of her sister's actions. One early event in this novel that stood out to me was when Allie was speaking to her best friend, Emery, about how she and her sister made a pact together that they would always be together, in life and in death. Thinking: When I read this part in the book I questioned what Allie meant — they were going to commit suicide together? What about their family? -
Event 2
Allie's mom had a problem, even before Leah’s death. She had a problem with pills/medication. One of the events that also caught my attention was when Allie comes home with migraines and she has to get medication from her mother. Her mom passes the pill and Allie sees the shakiness of her hands and feels bad for always giving her mother a hard time. Than, apologizes and goes upstairs to cry. Thinking: While reading this passage I wondered how her mother began her addiction and why. -
Event 3
One of these events was significantly different, it was a memory of Allie and Leah before her death. Allie has to visit a receptionist and while in the process she has a flashback with her and Leah. It was a cold day out, and they were going swimming on a freezing beach. Quote on quote Leah says to Allie “Numb is way better than feeling most times.” Thinking: This part I questioned, was Leah depressed? I than realized that, that is why Leah committed suicide. -
Event 4
Allie is now fully addicted to pills. Every single time she needs to feel better, Allie grabs another pill. In one of the parts in the book there is an assembly. She is now dating her friend, Nick, and decides to go to the assembly with him. She takes some unknown pills a guy gave to her and she feels very loopy and is hallucinating. Thinking: My thoughts were drastically changed when she started seeing things, I did not know what was going to happen and was worried for her sake. -
Event 5
After the assembly Leah appears in the bathroom behind Allie. "My head feels fuzzy and my body feels all leaden, my legs still wobbly." This event in the book her friend Emery see's that something's wrong with Allie and immediately worries. Thinking: I was worried that Allie was going to end up like her sister and accidentally overdose. -
Event 6
Max is Allie's ex boyfriend and still her bestfriend. One of the events was how Max is trying to get back together with her, but Allie doesn't want to. They argue and get into a huge argument -- results in Allie to take a lot of pills and her friend finds her. Allie prmoises she'll get better. Thinking: In this part of the book I thought that Allie really needs to see help and that her friend needs to help her by telling someone important. -
Event 7
The guy that gave Allie a little baggie full of pills invited her over to his house. That night she went over and he told her that Leah and him were really close friends. Allie felt betrayed with her sister because she thought they told each other everything. He said he had feelings for Leah and also gave her pills, but Leah said she wouldn't take those pills to overdose. Thinking: I thought while reading this part that it seemed he didn't care about her too much if he gave her pills. -
Event 8
Nick has been becoming really close, but Allie feels as if they are becoming farther apart. In this part of the book Allie is trying to explain to Nick why they shouldn't be together anymore and it is really hard for her to tell him that she does not have feelings for him anymore. Thinking: I knew this was going to be hard for Allie to do, I felt that this was gonna portray her to do bad actions. -
Event 9
In this specific part of the book Allie's life is going down. She realizes that the whole time seeing Leah was just her imagination. It hurt her to realize that she's officially gone and can't get her back. Allie has a mild talent for painting and a couple years ago she painted pictures of Leah. All the imaginations of Leah were her paintings. She takes a lot of medication then overdoses. Thinking: Is Allie going to commit suicide like her sister? That's going to really effect her family. -
Event 10
Allie ends up in the ER. Instantly, Allie is put on fluids and recovers quickly. After she is realeased she goes to see her counselor. In this part her counselor explains that it will always be hard living without her loved one and she'll never know why she did it, but has to face the fact she will always be in her heart. Thinking: This really reflected on me and inspired me. When I lost my mom this is what I really needed to hear a lot. -
Reflection
Overall, I would definately read it again. This certain novel I could relate to a lot, since I lost the closest loved one to me. Personally, this book inspired me. If you are having trouble and don´t know what to do, paint your art. I would recommend this book to my friends and to someone who likes some romance, suspense, and a very heartfelt story. This book was about a young girl who lost her sister to drugs and almost ended her life the same way, but with help from her family and friends.
