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The first try!
This is the first time Nic smells cigarette smoke on his son and finds marijuana in his sweater. This event shocked Nic because he would never think his son would do such a thing. This also shocked Karen. David responds with lecturing him and keeps on reminding him how bad drugs are. Also David sets up a meeting with his teacher to make sure he is still doing good and school and to see if the teacher can do anything about it. David is responding to the situation the best he can. -
The sharing of a joint
David and Nic share a joint together. Nic offered his Dad the joint and David accepted it. David did this because he wanted to reconnect with his son. “Should I have smoked with him? Of course not. I’m desperate- way too desperate- to connect with him. It’s not a very good excuse.”(Sheff 90) This what David wrote in the book after he smoked with his Nic. After this event David was disappointed in himself and this might of hurt Nic. This hurt Nic by showing him smoking isnt that bad. -
The Runaway
When Nic runs away David tries to figure out why he is in to drugs. He thinks of this Nic is using because he feels clever and less introverted. Also less insecure and he carries the dangerous idea that debauchery leads to the greatest art. (Sheff 118). When David is alone he cries in a way that he hasn’t cried since he was a young boy. This also makes David feel helpless, out of control and afraid that he calls Vicki. Now this event is making Vicki worry a lot about Nic. -
Ohloff Recovery
When David drops him off then drives home he feels like he might collapse from more emotion than he can handle.(Sheff 130) This a event of taking Nic into recovery is huge because it will help Nic but David feels as if he betrayed him, abonded him or turned him in. At the same time he feels happy that he knows where he is and because of that he sleeps through the night. This also affects jasper and daisy because they get scared when Nic is unsafe somewhere but in recovery he is safe. -
Run Away from Ohloff Halfway house
When this happens David calls the hospital and jail to make sure he isn’t there. When he finds out he isn’t David is overrunned by worry he doesn’t sleep much at all because he has nightmares about Nic on the streets. Also he tries to be calm around the kids to not worry them but he sometimes snaps at Karen because he is so angry that Nic is gone again. This also affects Karen because after awhile of David napping on her she gets fed up with him and his obsession with Nic but he cant help it. -
St. Helena
After dropping Niv off at center he feels relief that he know where he is. He stills has nightmares about Nics condition. At St.Helena David and Karen go to family meetings with Nic and they learn a lot about Nics condition and how it is an illness. Also Nic founds all about what happened in Paris. This event of taking Nic back to another facility is hard on both David and Karen because they have to attend family evenings and it’s hard to see your child at the facility and looking so dead. -
Sessions
David hears his son say he is an addict and alcoholic it fills him with a pride because he knows how hard it must be for Nic to admit that. At the same time he questions if Nic really believes that he is one. Also David notices that everyone there including him feels as if they are hopeless and hopeful. (Sheff 157) David says sometimes the pain in the room is unbearable because of the entire heart- tearing stories. This makes David heart break every meeting and this is not good for him. -
Al-Anon
David has finally decided to open up about the problem he has. He kept it a secret for so long because he didn’t want others to look at Nic and the family different. Then David learned your as sick as your secrets and that he feels so much better after he opens up. He actually cries in front of the meeting people at first he felt embarrassed but then he felt relieved. -
Nic moves to LA
Nic is 21 and has finally moved on his own. David is very happy that Nic is moving there because this means he will be away from where he started the drugs and hopefully do better! The kids and Karen even come and visit him at LA. Everything seems so much better! David is worrying less because he talks to Nic all the time on the phone and he knows he is going to meetings. Also living in LA he has gone one year of being sober. -
Nic relapsed
Even though he relapsed he noticed how bad it was for him so he goes back to his sponsor Randy and tries to get back on track. While Nic is trying to be sober David is always worrying. “When he is using, I’m in turmoil; when he’s not, I’m OK but the relief is tenuous.” (Sheff 228) The whole family is a time bomb because once something happens to Nic the family ‘blows’ up. It’s so much worry and stress on them. David also admits that he have become codependent on Nic. -
Article published
David’s article is published to the New York Times. This is a very happy time for David even though at first he is a little scared to show every one there secrets but he needs to show them. He published this to hopefully help other families with drug issues and all the other stories he have read inspired him to do this. Also Nic is doing great, him and David go to meetings to share their story this helps Nic to stay strong. -
The Aneurism
David gets an aneurism in his brain. This was a terrible time because he couldn’t remember his name but he remembers Nic this shows how much he thinks about Nic. The aneurism may have been caused by the obsessive worrying about Nic. At the same time the aneurism shined a light in David’s brains and it taught him something. It taught him to worry less because he learned that he is irrelevant to Nic survival. That Nic, Jasper and Daisy will survive without their father. It might be hard but this -
The Aneurism cont.
It might be hard but this allowed David to cut off the strings attached to his kids and this allowed him to allow his kids to grow up without him worrying so much. David will still always worry but this clarified that he can’t save his kids it’s their life but all he can do is love them unconditionally. -
The lie
Nic lies to David about where he was and the drugs he has been doing. This made David mad that his own son would lie to him and Sheff realized that he will always love Nic but he can’t deal with someone who lies to him. David even takes down the photo on his desk of Nic because he can’t stand to look at a liar. He also shuts off his phone during some parts of the day so he doesn’t have to worry about Nic calling and making David and the family more stressed. -
Meeting with Nic and Vicki
David is meeting with Nic and Vicki at a recovery place. David feels ragged inside because he is with his ex-wife and Nic who has hurt him so much while they are drawing. Then Nic starts writing that he is so sorry. This makes David feel sorry because he feels that it must be so much harder for Nic. This also makes Vicki upset because she has been through a lot too. -
Recovery
David is working on his own recovery by trying to live his life to the fullest without worrying so much. He feels that now he is 50 he doesn’t want to just waste his life. David is trying to make his life better by turning off his phone so he doesn’t have to worry about the news he will hear one the other end. He is also trying to spend lots of time with Jasper, Daisy and Karen. Also he isn’t focusing on Nic recovery anymore.
