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My Reflection
Today we went to Chaprral Park as a family I thought maybe at some point I would be able to talk to Nic to see where his head was; and to make sure he was in a better state of mind. As we walked on the sidewalk together, I went on with my lecture to him he stopped me and offered me a joint to smoke with him. Rather than decline to smoke with him or scold him I took some hits from his joint thinking maybe if he sees that I can connect and be a cool parent that he might listen to me. He also expla -
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A Fathers Stuggle
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The start of it all
The first time I caught Nic smoking pot was with his skater friends. I called him over, to talk to him inside, so we could discuss my recent discovery about his life. He told the truth saying that he had smoked pot only once and since I had no reason to not believe that I let him off easy. He also said he hadn’t done any other drugs because in his opinion “‘I don’t like it anyway’” (Sheff 55). -
First time Drinking
When Nic was done confessing to us about his experience with weed I continued to question him to see how deep his drug use went. He said he had only tried weed which was a relief to me so, I asked if he had done anything else, like alcohol. He again responded with by saying yes, he said he did it with a friend named Philip on a ski trip in Lake Tahoe. What was the most shocking thing is it was a family trip so, I asked him where he found the liquor to get drunk? He responded “‘I went around look -
Was i right or wrong?
After I had found out about Nic’s drug use it made me reflect about my own drug use and an old friend named Charles. It made me think of questions like should I have told Nic about my own drug experience? Is drug use hereditary? Or better yet, is Nic going to try anymore drugs? My old friend and I took different routes in life; he couldn’t stop doing drugs which ultimately lead to his downfall where as I got my life in order and stopped my drug use. Allowing me to have a better life. -
Left Speachless
On a Sunday afternoon, Karen plans to take the kids to beach unfortunately I had to stay home and do work. As I am packing the car with various items for the beach two county sheriffs pull up to our house. As everyone is stopped in their tracks like deer’s in headlights they take Nic in the back of their car and drive off. The shock set in the only thing left to hear is the wailing cry of jasper because he’s confused and saddened as to why Nic was taken away in handcuffs. -
Gone without a trace
The first of many disappearances by Nic was done without warning. I called all the hospitals and police stations to see if something happened and if he might have turned up anywhere but, there was no trace of him. This made me think of Nics’ influences in life like Hemingway, Hendrix, and Basquiat and begged the question was he trying to get some sort of poetic justice in his own way? Then it got me thinking to something Nic once told me which was, “‘Every writer and artist I love was a drunk or -
The first of many
Today I brought Nic to a rehab facility against his will. At first he was more no budging but, then he was willing. The first rehab facility we went to said that he was too much of a burden for them to bare, so we found another highly recommended facility which was called Ohlhoff. I think I was more afraid for him then he was of the actual program because before we could even enter we were greeted with many remarks such as “‘Welcome to the nuthouse’” (Sheff 129). As scary as it was to know that -
How did we get here
Nic is out of Ohlhoff and in the hospital family sessions are different. He admitted to us that he has done even more than weed. Nic admits that he has done speed. The more that Nic admits his different uses with various subsistence’s it triggers another level of sadness each time. I didn’t think I would ever have to experience these feelings when raising kid’s especially with Nic. -
On to the Next one
Nic is at St. Helena another rehab facility. In these meeting Nic shares more than before we also learn that he has done a lot more than just speed and weed. He admits saying “‘I took whatever I could find-E, LSD, Mushrooms and then…Crystal’” (Sheff 156). This is all a revelation to me but at the same time a relief because he is be honest. Even though Nic relapsed after Ohlhoff and he’s in rehab again I truly hope he is back on the road to a much better life -
8 Singles gone
One morning Jasper comes into the living room as I am reading an article and says to me that he is missing some money from his piggy bank. This strikes me as odd but at this point I can’t put it past Nic as he is an addict and they will do just about anything to get that next high. As I am thinking these things I also know I have to deal with the matter at hand which is explaining to jasper why this happened. I wondered if he could even understand such a concept and if Nic had taken anything els -
To dum for New York to ugly for L.A.
Nic is now in New York staying with some family friends. While in New York Nic overdoses on meth and is put in critical condition in the hospital. The doctor said to me that he is a very lucky boy to still be alive. He plans to go to his third rehab facility called Hazelden’s in Manhattan center. It is known to be one of the nation’s best rehab facilities. There I hope he will hopefully stop doing drugs and put an end to all of this. -
Oakland again
Nic is doing great at Hazelden’s but it ends up closing down due to “Hard economic times” so Nic transfers to the Los Angelis facility called Herculean. Nic ends up doing just as good there as he did at Hazelden’s. After months of being there Nic suddenly stopped returning my phone calls. Naturally I assume the worse that he might have been kidnapped or something so I start calling his cell phone but he doesn’t pick up. I then call the phone company to track him and he ends up in Reno I call and -
A few things gone here a few things gone there
One morning Karen realizes that something’s are missing in our house this doesn’t surprise me because this isn’t the first time Nic has done something like this. Karen and I find a broken lock where Nic has been coming in and taking things to sell for more drugs. My article my addicted son is published in the New York Times Magazine and ends up getting such an abundant amount of response of how helpful it is and similar stories other families went through. -
Forget it all
I suffer from a brain hemorrhage which made me very forgetful. It also made me incapable of caring for Nic which leaves me worried most of the time. To my surprise though Nic has been pretty helpful with my recovery and is 18 months sober. Then once I get home and things seem to go good I get a phone call from Nic saying that he relapsed. I knew things were too good to be true I just hope that this is the last time. -
The End is always happy
After lying to me and some tough love, Nic decides he will get help one last time and it ends up setting him straight. He apologizes to the family and I can honestly say that we can put this part of his life behind all of us. He has been sober and continues to be sober. Nic also takes a more participatory role in Jaspers and Daisies life for the better. With everything behind us now it allows me to reflect on everything that happens and even though it was tragic it allowed me to grow and gain ex
