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Billy was born in Ilium, New York, the only child of a barber there. He was a funny-looking child who became a funny-looking youth-tall and weak, and shaped like a
bottle of Coca-Cola. -
he was an optometry school student in upstate New York
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When Billy joined the regiment, it was in the process of being destroyed by the Germans in the famous Battle of the Bulge. Billy never even got to meet the chaplain he was supposed to assist, was never even issued a steel helmet and combat boots.
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Billy saw service with the infantry in Europe, and was taken prisoner by the Germans. After his honorable discharge from the Army in 1945, Billy again enrolled in the Ilium School of Optometry.
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billy committed himself in a non violent mental patients veterans hospital
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Billy has gone to sleep a senile widower and awakened on his wedding day
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Billy stopped skating, found himself at a lectern in a Chinese restaurant in Ilium, New York, on an early afternoon in the autumn He was receiving a standing ovation from the Lions Club. He had just been elected President, and it was necessary that he speak.
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He was at a banquet in honour of a Little League team of which his son Robert was a member.
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The saucer was from the planet Tralfamadore. He was taken to Tralfamadore, where he was displayed naked in a
zoo. He was mated there with a former Earthling movie star named Montana Wildhack. -
Billy went to New York City, and got on an all-night
radio program devoted to talk. He told about having come unstuck in time. -
A group of optometrists, with Billy among them, chartered an airplane to fly them from Ilium to an international convention of optometrists in Montreal. The plane crashed on top of Sugarbush Mountain, in Vermont. Everybody was killed but Billy. So it goes.
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Will die, have died and always will die.
