-
Kochan's Birth
The first several paragraphs of the book describe how Kochan believes he can remember his own birth (two years after the great earthquake of 1923), and how whenever he would tell adults this they would laugh in his face and tell him it was a silly thing to say. This was significant because it was the first instance in which Kochan truly felt alone and misunderstood; this was an idea/feeling that carried on throughout the entire book. -
Seeing the Working Class Man
When Kochan was a very young boy, he saw a young working man wearing a uniform fit for work where one would get dirty easily, and heavy boots. This was the first time Kochan had thought a man was beautiful, and the memory stuck with him for years, giving him the desire to work a similar job and be like the man he admired from such a young age. -
The Discovery of St. Sebastian
When Kochan was 12, he discovered a picture of St. Sebastian being martyred. Kochan explained through the narration that it was the first time he'd been so attracted to a male figure, and it made him obsess over the saint and similar images for a large part of his life. This was very significant to Kochan because it represented his attraction to men which he didn't quite understand at the time, as well as his affinity for tragedy and violence that he attributed to his anemia and self-repression. -
Kochan Meets Omi
A slightly older boy who was held back and placed in Kochan's grade called Omi captivated Kochan's attention immediately. He'd admire Omi from a distance, and he admired the older boy greatly, but once he and Omi began talking and forming a friendship, Kochan admitted that he had fallen in love with Omi. He wrote that this was the first time he recognized his feelings towards someone as love, and it was the first time he realized just how alone he was in experiencing his attraction towards boys. -
Kochan's' View On Life Shifts
After he gets over his feelings for Omi, he is left feeling dejected, insecure, and angry at the world. Kochan is determined to get over all of these feelings as well, so he takes the phrase "life's a stage" and runs with it. He begins to view all aspects of life as a grand performance, separated into acts for different parts of his life, and one where he constantly has to be playing the role of a character other than his true self. -
Kochan's Fascination With Death Begins
As a child, Kochan found himself constantly wanting to play games where he was a soldier, dying as a tragic hero on the battlefield. The version of Kochan that is narrating makes a point of including his favorite childhood game because, as the story continues, Kochan never grows out of wanting to die in action as a tragic figure or martyr. -
The Transition to High School
The transition from what we would equate to middle school, into their counterpart of high school was a difficult one for Kochan. He found himself alone quite often, and this transition gave him a lot of free time to ponder on himself, and he became more reserved and introspective. He came to the conclusion that he desperately wanted to die a spontaneous, spectacular death during this time. It can be inferred that he thought this because of the time he had to reflect on himself and his feelings. -
Kochan Begins to See Himself as an Outsider
While meeting a school friend's family, Kochan's internal dialogue reveals that he feels like he has never been able to interact with a family the way they interact w each other, and that, while it makes him happy, he can't help but feel like the character he is playing is one that is doomed to live on the outskirts of society for his whole life despite being completely normal. -
Kochan's Drafting
Kochan is drafted into the military to serve in World War 2, which really makes him step back and examine his views on life and death. He had always thought he wanted to die, but when he got his draft notice, he found himself peaceful because of a hesitant acceptance of his possible death. This changed his views on life dramatically towards a more apathetic approach to death, rather than actively wanting to die. -
Meeting Sonoko
Kochans classmate's sister, Sonoko, catches his eye immediately, and he curiously flirts with her every time they cross paths. He explains that if he had ever felt anything resembling love for a woman, he felt it for Sonoko. This was a large part of his contemplation of who exactly he was attracted to, and he determined that, while it is possible that he loved her, he was never attracted to her. This both relieves and immensely frustrates Kochan. -
Kochan's Conflict With Religion Concerns Sonoko
Kochan respond's to Sonoko saying she will pray for him by saying that her faith worries and scares him, and Sonoko is immediately taken aback. Because Kochan doesn't quite know what he did wrong in this situation, he is left with resentment towards Sonoko and her faith, and he reflects on his actions deeply. This is important to the plot because it demonstrates the inevitable conflict between something as innate as Kochan's sexuality and something as important as one's faith/religion. -
Sonoko Moves Away and Gives Kochan a Love Letter
After her grandmother catches the romantic way she interacts at Kochan, she urges Sonoko and her sisters to move in with her, outside of Tokyo, which makes both Sonoko and Kochan upset. Sonoko doesn't want to leave Kochan, and Kochan doesn't want to have to go back to pretending he was someone he wasn't without anyone to pretend to be interested in. This makes Kochan upset for almost the rest of the book, only stopping when he finally feels comfortable being simply romantic pen pals with Sonoko. -
Kochan is reunited with Sonoko
After a long period away from her, Sonoko seeks out Kochan and they are finally reunited in person. Kochan describes his actions towards her from here until the end of the book as "playing his part" which is another thing that damages his self esteem significantly. He describes himself around Sonoko as wearing a mask and playing the part of a character in some Shakespearean tragedy. -
Kochan Realizes He Does Not Want to Marry Sonoko
After exchanging love letters for a long time, a family member asks Kochan what he's planning on doing to propose to Sonoko, and he automatically responds that he has no interest in marrying her. When his family calls him cruel for leading her on, he describes how he thought that he was doing everything right, and he didn't think proposing was something that was expected of him. This significantly lowered his self esteem, and made him resent Sonoko and her love letters for quite a while. -
Sonoko and Kochan Part Ways for the Last Time
The last event of the book is when Sonoko and Kochan meet up again and catch up with one another. Kochan learns Sonoko has a husband and is relieved but also disappointed by this. The final paragraphs of the book explain the peace Kochan felt having closure with his relationship with Sonoko, and being able to move on from it with a clearer perspective on himself and his desires.
