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At 2.5 years old, my parents split and my mom and I moved to Alaska. This was a big change that shaped my early independence, as I had to adjust to it just being the two of us. The crisis of this stage is overall about how toddlers start learning to do things on their own. Autonomy develops when caregivers support their child in making choices and exploring. Shame and doubt happen if children are overly controlled or criticized, which can lead to feeling insecure about being independent.
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At 18, I had to make the decision of which college to attend after graduating high school. I had to reflect and think about what I wanted for my future, and who I wanted to become. It was the first time I felt fully in charge of my life. The crisis in this stage is between forming a strong sense of identity, knowing who you are and what you want, and feeling confused about your values, beliefs, and what the future holds.
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I am age 20, and I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, and we’re about to move in together. I’ve chosen to share my life and future plans with someone I have grown to trust, which due to my pass trauma I did not think was possible. The crisis in this stage is between intimacy, which is forming deep and meaningful relationships with others through emotional closeness and isolation, which is avoiding commitment or connection out of fear of vulnerability or losing independence.